Hat Thieves
by Ravenmad
Summary: My answer to PL's Missing Hokage Challenge. Naruto successfully brings back Sasuke only to be kicked out of the village for his trouble. Sad the council forgot that Tsunade only came back for Naruto isn't it?
1. Waking up

AN: I don't own Naruto and honestly if I did the series would make more sense, genjutsus would be more understandable in their application, and Anko would get more airtime. Keep in mind I'm trying to remain accurate where I can which means that the portion of the kyubi that is in Naruto is male and more creative than destructive.

X_0X_0X_0

Pakkun looked down at Naruto as Kakashi caught up to him or rather them in the Valley of the End. "The kids are a mess. We need to get them both back."

Kakashi nods his agreement and summons Bull to help carry the two. "Bull, you carry Sasuke since he seems the most stable. I'll carry Naruto. Pakkun, try and see if you can't get us some help as I'm about out of chakra from my dash here." The two dogs nod and set about their assigned tasks. Kakashi begins to leap through the trees to return home with his sensei's son hanging from his back. "I've failed both of you."

Bull follows beside him as fast as his body will allow. Around thirty minutes into their run they are spotted by medics coming toward them. Kakashi silently thanks all the powers that are as they come over to help.

X_0X_0X_0

Kyubi stirred where it was trapped behind a cage in a sewer unhappy with this turn of events. It seemed like it had little choice at this point as it began to release large amounts of its chakra to sustain the child's life. As the seal drew it up and helped to funnel the energy toward the repairs the kyubi knew that this move had brought it one step closer to being fully absorbed into the boy. If it had been asked it was somewhat curious to see what a full integration would result in for the boy but it doubted any would care for its opinion. "**Brat, I hope you one day are thankful. If you are just kill that rat bastard Madara for me.**"

X_0X_0X_0

Naruto snapped awake instantly sitting up in his hospital bed while looking around frantically for Sasuke. Seeing that he was in a hospital room once more had him at least some what mollified as it was the familiar one of Konoha. He had been trapped in a nightmare of being handed over to Orchimaru as a present from Sasuke as he slept.

"Eep."

Naruto turned toward the door of his room to find Hyuga Hinata standing there as if she was coming in. Before he could ask her anything she spoke first which was something new in the blonde's opinion.

"N..Naruto-kun are y..you okay? I he..heard you were h.." At that point her voice cut out as she had ran out of steam to speak up.

"I suppose I was Hinata. Do you know if they found Sasuke there too? I need to know if I managed to bring back the bastard so as to fulfill that promise I made."

Hinata had an odd look on her face for a moment that passed by our oblivious hero's notice. "Yes. Y..you managed tt…to catch him."

"Yatta I did it. Thank you for telling me Hinata. If I may ask why are you here anyway? Shouldn't you be with Kiba or checking on your cousin?"

"N..naruto-kun they released Kiba-kun two days ago and Neji-niisan has al..already been remanded into the c..care of the Hyuga medics. Y..you have been o…out of it for about f..fiv..five days."

"Crap that means I have a lot of training to catch up on. Hinata do you think you could go get Tsunade-bachan for me? I would like her to let me get out of here soon. I don't like being in these places as they make me even more restless than normal."

"Hai!" Hinata seemed a bit embarrassed at first but managed to get herself under control. "A..aaa…anything to help you, Naruto-kun." Hinata answered brightly at this as it was a chance to be of some direct aid to Naruto. As she turned to leave Naruto happened to notice the shift of her hips and how much he liked her voice when she spoke louder as she did earlier.

"Well now that I have the bastard back for Sakura my obligation to her is up. Guess that is one thing on my list of dreams that will never be achieved." Naruto murmured while marking off getting married from his list of dreams on his mental notepad.

X_0X_0X_0

Tsunade sighed as she finished up her autopsies on the Sound Six. Sakon and Ukon were definitely a study in odd medical conditions even if one attributed it to the strange genetic mutations that were called kekkei genkai. The structure of Kidomaru's body was also an interesting study purely from an intellectual standpoint. Judging from what they had pieced together from his genetics his clan at some point must have been similar to Inuzuka clan in that they took on the traits of their partners. The girl and the large boy who she believed were named Tayuya and Jirobo were fairly normal for human remains after some study. She did find traces of the treatments all of the original five had underwent to enable some of their abilities as well as some of the secrets of their jutsus. The knowledge of how to duplicate the kumo nenkin and the chakra kyuin jutsu could be handy some day she was sure. She had sent for Jiraiya to come and help her later in studying the seals on all of the corpses.

The most informative and interesting of the corpses though was the one she was just finishing up on. It really was a shame that this Kimimaro was dead because if there was a way to break his devotion to Orochimaru any village would have given its Kage's arms to get him. Her first task was obvious in that she collected quite a sample of his DNA in any form she could conceive of. The fabled kekkei genkai of the Kaguya clan, Shikotsumyaku, now open for her personal study. Sad that he was already too long dead to collect viable sperm and start up a program to revive it. However there was always the blood line theft option she supposed and unlike Orochimaru she was very good at ninja medicine and gene splicing.

'Orochimaru should really have sent some hunters behind them to clean up after they died. A pity but at least we can learn some things.' She thought to herself while washing off her hands from her job. 'Now to have a visit with the brat I suppose.' She turned around and left the morgue via the elevator. As she stepped out she spotted the little Hyuga heiress exiting another one and looking around. The girl spotted her and began to head her way.

X_0X_0X_0

No matter which way this situation was spun was a potential disaster for Danzo. When the Uchiha had ran he was displeased but he could handle it. The fact that the Uzumaki was sent after him though was bothersome on a whole other level. Both were potentially some of the best tools at the village's disposal and they were being left out without proper supervision. He was afraid that they would lose both to Orochimaru since it would be a boon to gain both rather than only one. Then he remembered some of his reports regarding the Uchiha clan's Sharingan evolution methods and became even more distraught. Losing the Uchiha would have been a loss but their clan had a history of being traitors and he honestly would rather lose him than the potential weapon, in both political and more literal interpretations, that was the Uzumaki. Now they had both back thankfully but he was stuck. Those two old bats Koharu and Homura along with most of the civilians wanted the Uzamaki booted from the village. Even worse they wanted to reward the Uchiha for his defection. 'Damned old bastard should have followed my advice and killed the lot of them back when they tried to have the boy killed the same day he was born. Hiruzen, do you hear me? They are going to cripple the village and I can't do a thing.'

He would vote against kicking the boy out but he knew the game was rigged in this case. There was no stopping it but he might be able to at least salvage it in some way. He had already sent orders to his Root agents to be on standby. The moment Uzumaki was exiled and out of sight of the village he would send them out to collect him and bring him back. While he didn't normally use the approach, he felt that this time the honey might net him more than vinegar so he was going to bring the boy in and train him properly behind the scenes in the Root HQ. He really never could figure out why the boy hadn't been given more proper training as it would have made him a better weapon and a ninja than leaving him to rot in ignorance. Perhaps if he played it right not only would he possibly find a loyal super weapon out of the jinchuriki but also a good puppet to put up for Hokage. On the other side he could also now see about collecting some samples from the captured Uchiha was down and while everyone was in the uproar over the Uzumaki to notice. The boy was a lost cause in his book and should be executed but that didn't mean that his kekkei genkai needed to end with him. Oh what he wouldn't do to have Itachi relieved of his spy mission so he had someone around that was useful. The one true success of the Root training method and he didn't even get the boy's direct loyalty but at least it proved it was effective. He sighed as the council continued to bicker as he pondered if his day or possibly even life could get any worse with all the plans that were being shot to hell at the moment and the effort needed to make new ones.

X_0X_0X_0

Tsunade entered Naruto's room to see how he was doing after Hinata told her about him asking for the medic. She saw that the boy was alert but strangely more contemplative than normal. She attributed it to nearly dying as she spoke up. "Heya brat. How are you feeling?"

"About as well as can be expecting having had a hand pass through my lung and that much electricity near my heart. Any complications I'm going to need to worry about or can I go back to training already? You know I can't sit still in this place for long or I'll go crazy."

"Hai, I know, I know. Now then let me tell you first off that you were damn lucky. I would say if it hadn't been for your tenant you would have died but I suppose you know that already. Your lungs and heart are already back and in perfect working order at this point thanks to at least three medics besides me and Shizune using up so much chakra they themselves had to be hospitalized. Your left side though is going to be stiff for the next week or so though as a result of the damage. On the bright side, you might actually keep a scar from this one so you will have something to talk about with the ladies when you are older."

"Ha! Sure, I'll remember to pack some sticks then for when that day comes around. How is the bastard? He stable yet or is he still an obsessed psycho?"

"Physically he will be alright other than his genes being a bit altered thanks to the level two version of the Cursed Seal of Heaven on him. I must admit I'm impressed, after studying the Sound Six, that the seal can cause such grand and rapid genetic alterations in a small amount of time. His account of what happened has already been recorded as has the one from all the others. Would you mind telling me what you recall of this mission?"

Naruto set about telling her of all that had happened from his point of view including the conversation with Sasuke. "Upon thinking back on it I believe I've found out something interesting about either his mentality or something, baachan. He talked like he would get stronger if he killed me. I am not sure if it was because it would impress Orochimaru, which I doubt, or that it would flip some switch in his mind that would improve his drive. Do you know why he decided I had to die after declaring me his best friend?"

Tsunade nodded at the story while taking notes and then was a bit more surprised at Naruto's observation. It would seem the boy decided to be serious for once rather than goofing around. "I have reason to believe it is how an Uchiha attains the more evolved form of their Sharingan. I believe it is called the Mangekyo Sharingan at that point. According to some of the records I have it would seem that is the method his brother used to gain that power and I suppose that he thought doing so as well would net him the upgrade. Any other questions?"

"None other than when can I leave and where are my clothes. I can't exactly leave in one of these gowns."

Tsunade chuckled and pointed to a drawer in the cabinet next to his bed. "In there brat. Your original was unsalvageable but I managed to get you some standard wear. Mostly black this time and while I know you love orange I would suggest you wear it and be happy. Right now I think you probably want to just get out, possibly eat, and then head home rather than deal with people bombarding you with questions."

Naruto thanked her and waited until she left before he set about getting dressed. He was arrayed in fairly standard clothing of the black shirt with some of the mesh armor underlay inside it and around the neck and wrists. The black pants were no different than his old ones and had plenty of pockets and such. Dressed to slip through the world and get home Naruto left his hospital room for what he would later find out would be the final time.

X_0X_0X_0

Tsunade watched as the doors to the elevator once again opened to find Jiraiya standing there waiting for her. He simply nodded to her as he entered and hit the button to take them to the morgue. Both say nothing as they know nothing is an absolute secret in a ninja village. She led him into the room with the Sounds and shows him their cursed seals. The two set about studying all they can to determine a possible way to remove them. Jiraiya thinking he has a solution attempts it on the most intact body, that of Kimimaro, but finds that it has a side effect of nearly blowing the whole area around the seal off his body. "Well that didn't quite go as planned. Hime, go home and I'll keep on this. From the notes we have from his old labs and these ones to look over I should have a viable solution for at least one of them come late afternoon tomorrow." Tsunade nodded her head and left to go home. On her way she caught sight of a newspaper that displayed the winning lottery ticket numbers. She almost collapsed right there as they were the same ones she always played. This wasn't good.

X_0X_0X_0

Hiashi stood there in the council chambers after feeling absolutely pole axed. They were planning to kick out Uzumaki judging by how the council was continuing to argue. The Ino-Shiki-Cho trio was arguing against the ruling and that surprised him greatly considering their open hostility about the boy in the past. If he recalled correctly Choza had even demanded the boy be executed shortly after the genin exams a few months ago. The fact that Tsume was also arguing against it wasn't quite so much due to her clans issues about loyalty even if he did not doubt for a moment she would not really hang around the kid though because his smell would probably activate her desire to hunt in any possible interpretation. Personally he saw it futile to argue about the issue since there would be no way to convince the council even if he were to voice his opinion. The Hyuga council would be ecstatic about this no doubt since this would let them move forward with some of their plots. He knew the few Hyuga elders that were in the council would vote for the banishment.

He knew his daughter would be all but killed about it. They don't call the Byakugan all seeing eyes for nothing and her crush on the boy was more obvious than his own nose on his face. Personally he approved if he were asked about it as he knew who the boy really was but his hands were tied as a loyal ninja he had to go along with the plot of the Sandaime. That boy had done more for his clan than he himself had in his opinion and he rather wanted to help him. The fact that his daughter got stronger with each of her interactions with the boy also didn't escape his notice. He would need to see if he could find a way to save his first born from that seal somehow. His first order of business once this meeting was over would be to find Tsunade and the Hyuga elder council be damned he would do it. He continued to ponder a solution as he saw them draft up their doctored accounts of events to send to the daimyo for approval. No way even a well established Hokage could fight against that should he go along with it. Admittedly Hiashi doubted the man would but he again kept his silence. After all the looks on their faces later would be priceless and he needed a good laugh once this was all over.

X_0X_0X_0

At around midnight Shizune awoke to a knock on the doors to the Hokage's mansion. She went to answer it to find, much to her surprise, Hyuga Hiashi standing there. He immediately looked at her in a manner that conveyed just how urgent the matter he was there for was. She simply nodded and let him in knowing better than to let him speak outside of the secure building where he could be overheard.

Once inside he spoke. "I know this is not the proper time but there is urgent business I must see the Hokage about. It concerns my clan and possibly even the future of the village. Please wake her so I might have a word."

Shizune was again surprised because this was perhaps the most polite she had ever seen Hiashi when he had business to conduct. "Very well, please wait in the office while I go get her." Shizune ran off to get her sensei awake and aware enough to speak with the Hyuga head.

Moments later Hiashi found himself seated across a rather weary looking slug sannin. "What do you want, Hiashi? I need my beauty sleep."

"It is about the council. They are planning to have Uzumaki banished and have already sent the forms to get the daimyo's consent."

Tsunade suddenly was wide awake and one could feel the killer intent radiating off of her in a manner that would have even made Orochimaru run for his life. It helped to clue one into her anger when her desk split down the middle just with how hard she pushed her finger into it. "They have done what?"

"They are kicking Uzumaki out. It is, in their infallible wisdom, the correct thing to do since he not only drove the Uchiha to those who kidnapped him but also beat him senseless when he was disoriented from the drug he was given."

Tsunade growled. "The damn fools have overstepped themselves. Can you tell me who opposed this ruling?"

"Yes. The following clans opposed it: Nara, Akimichi, Yamanaka, and Inuzuka. As you know the Hatake seat and the Sarutobi seat are lying empty with no one to man those chairs at the moment. I also opposed it but the Hyuga clan over all voted for its passing. Only moderately surprising is that of the village elders one voted against the banishment with that being..."

"Let me guess Danzo. No doubt worried about possibly losing his super weapon he has been trying to make Naruto into for years. The boy won't even make it 20 feet out of sight before Root, Akatsuki, or Iwa assassins get him." Tsunade begin to plot what to do.

"Whatever you plot out to resolve this Hokage-sama, you have my support. I only ask one thing in return. My daughter will be destroyed by this turn of events and I have no way of saving her. That boy inspires her and without him I am afraid she would just give up. I am at wits end to determine what to do to help her."

"You are speaking of Hinata aren't you? I knew she had a crush on him but surely you are overestimating its effect."

"If anything Lady Tsunade, I am understating it. If I must I will arrange for the boy to kidnap her on his way out if it comes to that. I would rather she be out there in the world with him than cooped up here with the plots of the Hyuga elders waiting to grasp her. I can't disown her or anything because they would still put the seal on her in that event."

"That serious you say. Hm.. I might have a solution then Hiashi. Send the girl to my office tomorrow around ten a.m. I need to plot and work out a solution as well as get some things together. After all, I can't let someone who can make those fantastic salves fade into obscurity if nothing else."

Hiashi laughed on that part. "I see you have seen her work. If this were happier times I would have come to you about possibly training her in medicine considering she is already somewhat on that path and I think it wouldn't hurt her fighting ability to know even more about the human body. It might even help her with her shyness when she moved onto handling the sex organ studies."

Tsunade chuckled. "Yeah, the brat had some on him and I found it worked quite well on some of my wounds from a small tussle we had on our way back. He told me who made it and I was impressed. No I take that back I was surprised to hear a Hyuga had made it since I had heard they were discouraged from practicing medicine even if they would be perfect for it."

"I will send my daughter to you in the morning then. However you help her you will have my thanks if no others. I will do what I can to help in any thing you decide on. Good night Hokage-sama." Hiashi stood to leave the office.

"Good night Hiashi. I should have something cooked up by then." With that Hiashi left while Tsunade turned to Shizune who was next to her. "This isn't good but I have a plan. They will probably come tomorrow to tell me that he is banished so we need to move stuff around now while we supposedly don't know anything. Shizune, I want you to send for Konohamaru at dawn as I will need to speak with him concerning something. Let him know he should bring his uncle too. I'm going to the personal library of the Hokage's for the next little bit." Tsunade picks up an empty scroll. "Mind tagging along? We might learn something." Shizune got the feeling that Tsunade had a crazy plan and would not talk about it in here. They both knew of the Root listening device but knew that Danzo would not inform the rest of the council about tonight's conversation as there was nothing in it that was a threat to the village itself and they did not need him to hear what they were plotting. After all it wouldn't do to spoil the surprise.


	2. An eventful night and a full morning

AN: I don't own Naruto as if I did Orochimaru would probably be one of the good guys and Naruto would have been taught by Kurenai due to what he hosts.

X_0X_0X_0

Naruto sighed contentedly as he arrived home after his meal that night. Having eaten his fill at around twelve bowls of ramen of varying flavors at Ichiraku he was in a mood for something entertaining. As he attempted to flip the switch for his lights he noticed that they came on only for a moment before spluttering out again. Seeing this his grin turned into a bit of a frown. He took a look out his window to see that the power was out on at least his block and probably a bit further down in his housing area.

"Biggest problem with the slums would have to be crappy utilities. Ah well, lets see what I can do." At that Naruto opened his hand and a small red flame appeared to provide him with some light. Admittedly this wasn't more than a simple fire manipulation exercise put to actual use but he liked to think it was inventive. He couldn't let this stop him as he had a task to do tonight. He went to his bedroom and reached under his bed to remove some of the floor paneling to get out a book he was hiding in the little alcove it presented. The book was a simple one covering various chakra control and manipulation exercises such as the one he was currently using to see by. He needed to complete his self imposed mission before the sun rose.

While the boy had mostly been ignored all his life what few did notice him did so only to impede his learning. The librarians at the ninja library of Konoha who did their best to prevent him from getting any books were an example of such. He had worked a way around that into a form of training for himself just like so many of the other impediments in his life. He felt he needed to get this back to the library before anyone noticed it was gone as he had been holding onto it for a bit too long already. Having snatched it up before the chunin exams he really needed to get it back there before it was noticed to be missing. Good thing it seemed most of the ninjas were either lazy or too busy studying clan techniques to be looking for such a simple book.

Thankful he already looked the part Naruto simply grabbed a mask covering similar to Kakashi's to hide his face and opened up the bandana that was a part of his hitai-ite to place over his hair so it wouldn't be seen. He then snuck out into the darkness outside to break into the library to return a book. As he did so he snickered at the thought of how many people would drop dead over him having a book much less trying to return it to a library.

X_0X_0X_0

Tsunade returned to her office wish Shizune with her. The younger woman waited until Tsunade signed some forms and stamped them before leaving the room to get things ready. Once Shizune was out of the room she turned to the window. "Come in Jiraiya. We need to talk."

The toad sannin walked into the room and nodded but he was surprised she would talk here. After a moment he noticed her moving her eyes in a set pattern that the sannin had developed as a means of communicating years ago when they were still a team. Nodding he pulled out a slip of paper and drew a quick seal out on it before channeling chakra into the inked characters. After a moment a field surrounded Tsunade's desk shutting it off from any sounds and thus doing the same to the bug that was hidden inside the drawers of it.

"Okay quick and to the point Hime. What is going down? Too much nervous energy tonight for my tastes and its beginning to worry me."

"The council has decided to banish Naruto. I intend to show them they shouldn't dick around with the leader of a military city like they are but its going to take something drastic. I am going to need your help on this Jiraiya and if you work with me you might even get a reward." Here she smiled at the old perv.

"Okay what is the plan then?"

"I am going to go with Naruto as I have no reason to stay in this shit hole without the boy being here. I've already sent Shizune to begin getting ready while I'm supposedly ignorant of what is going to happen. What I need you to do is promise to follow my request and step in as the next Hokage once I leave."

"Tsunade you know I don't want the damned job. Its too much work and it would keep me from being able to do my research."

"I thought you would say that Jiraiya so I am willing to show you something. I am sure you know about sensei's crystal right?" At Jiraiya's nod she continues. "I'm going to show you how to use it."

At this Jiraiya decided to cease his protests. "Oooh this will help with my research after all then. Anything you need me to do?"

"Nothing comes to mind other than backing me up on screwing the council over. If you could though, I would like you to bring me Naruto around noon tomorrow so that I may discuss something with him. Now then, let me show you how it works." She set about showing him how to use the crystal while he just rubbed his hands together in perverse greed.

X_0X_0X_0

Naruto snuck into the library through the sky light on the roof. He really didn't understand why this wasn't at least tied to an alarm as one would think it's an obvious route for a thief. Supposition had lead him to believe that they figured no one would bother to rob what passed for a public library for ninja though so the people who operated it had never bothered to protect the building from such things. All the better for himself he supposed.

He did however have to be careful to not disturb any of the dust that covered an overwhelming amount of the shelves and floor of the place though. If nothing else it would tell someone that a person had been slinking about back here when they shouldn't have. Again this was an excellent time to apply some chakra manipulation to make sure his weight was spread out enough to not cause any imprints. It was one he had made on his own about two years ago when he started doing these raids. He had almost gotten the whole scam blown a few times due to prints so he worked on a way to not leave any. The trick had also served him well on many a prank too when one thought about it. After all, one isn't that good at sneaking into places as he had demonstrated when retrieving the forbidden scroll of seals without practice.

Finding the original shelf and spot for his book after having memorized the filing system used by the library was easily enough done. He slid it back into place and began his route back out. So far a typical job it would seem with no complications. He once more began to trek up the wall toward the skylight to get out. This had gotten so much simpler than it was once he knew how to tree and wall walk. He would return another night for another book he figured. Possibly the next step up on chakra control when he knew he would have the time to read it. The months without having brought that one back were too long and his felt his luck stretched too thin to risk taking another now.

Reaching the roof he noticed something wasn't right. There in the shadows was a bit of movement. 'Damn Anbu. I forgot to account for the hour before leaving. Shit.' He began to slip into the shadows himself hoping he hadn't been spotted. No luck it would seem but he knew he wouldn't have any in this regard. They were trained to sense their surroundings and at five feet away with a chakra reserve like his he might as well have been a Christmas tree that had musical lights. He began to run as the Anbu gave chase.

Neko had never seen this figure that she was chasing before. It would seem that whoever it was knew their way around town far too well for her liking. That meant that someone from the village was possibly practicing subversion or the enemy knew too much. She place one hand on the handle of her blade. She was impressed as they lead her on a merry chase about the village about five times before managing to slip into an alley and disappear. She landed in the space between the two buildings that she had seen the shadow fall into and found it empty save for a man hole cover that looked like it hadn't been moved in years and a large trash bin. Checking the bin she found it empty and couldn't remove the manhole cover as it was screwed down and into place. She tried to see if she could sense her target but found nothing and had not seen anyone fleeing from the alley at ground level. She radioed in her sighting to alert the other Anbu but beyond that she didn't have anything she could do about it. Leaping back to the roof she remained there observing to see if she would catch the intruder off guard if he thought she had left.

Naruto smirked in his foxy way as he was safely inside the building that Neko was standing on. Oh how handy it had been to fix up all those little hidey holes for escaping from those hunting him down for his pranks all those years ago. The trash bin had a false back that lead into a hole in the wall of this particular building. Naruto had led the Anbu around town a few times to make them lose track all the while aiming for this particular escape route. He worked his way down into the buildings basement to find a way into the sewers that was open there. There was no excuse for there to be a hole down here but he had used it fairly often. It seemed it was once a lab where its owner probably practiced sealing if the damage was anything to go by. Once safely within the sewers he finally spoke to himself. "That tears it. Once I'm wearing the hat I'm going to do a systematic repair of the utilities in this village. There is no excuse for its state of disrepair."

X_0X_0X_0

The sun rose and along with it so too did Sarutobi Konohamaru and Asuma. They had been requested to come see the Hokage almost as soon as it was light out by none other than her assistant. Konohamaru was still fairly sleepy but Asuma was wide awake as he knew this couldn't be good if it had Tsunade ready to go this early in the morning. He led his nephew to the mansion and up the stairs to meet with Tsunade. He noticed the odd slip of paper that was situated over her desk but felt it wasn't his place to ask. He noticed that beside Tsunade was Jiraiya and that just doubled his worries.

"You wanted to see us. What is going on so early in the morning?"

Tsunade decided to handle this directly herself. "Yes, I felt it best that I present your father's summoning scroll to you and your nephew while it was on my mind. I also need your help with something too."

Asuma accepted the scroll when it was handed to him but didn't open it. "Thank you but I'm not going to sign it. Me and the old man had our differences about a lot of things. Some of them were our philosophies in life so I honestly don't think they would accept me. Konohamaru, do you want to sign it?"

"If I do can I still sign the toad contract as well later like boss has? I think it would be neat to be able to summon the same things as him."

"Actually you can. There is nothing preventing a summoner from signing other contracts." Tsunade felt it wise to speak up here. "The only reason why we sannin didn't sign each others contracts were matters of opinion and some worries we would get too powerful for the villages own good if we did."

"That and your slugs can't stand to work with me while you aren't overly fond of snakes." Jiraiya pipes into the conversation at this point.

"Yes, we know all of that. Now, Konohamaru, do you want to sign it?"

The boy nodded his head and followed along with what Tsunade and Jiraiya suggested to him for both the signing and method of summoning. Moments later a small monkey no taller than Konohamaru's shin appeared next to him.

"How can I help you?" Asked the monkey of those assembled.

"Sweet! I have a summon now." Konohamaru enthused even as he slumped against his uncle for support. "A bit too much chakra though I think."

Asuma chuckled along with the sannin at the boy before looking warily at Tsunade. He knew she had asked them here to sign it so she could contact the monkeys. Tsunade spoke up at that point. "Could you contact Enma for me? I need to ask him something if I may."

The little monkey nodded his head. "Give me a moment to get a hold of him. You want to speak to him here?"

Tsunade smiled. "Yes if he could." Asuma continued to watch with wary eye as the monkey disappeared. Moments later the monkey king Enma appeared in the room.

"What do you need, Tsunade of the Densetsu no Sannin?" The old monkey asked as he appeared. He smiled kindly down at Konohamaru when he spotted him but sent a bit of a glare at Asuma as if the man not having signed the contract was an affront that he knew about.

"I was wondering if someone not of the Sarutobi line could sign your contract. I understand it's a family scroll so I wanted to check with you before doing anything that might cause problems."

"I suppose it would depend on who you want to sign it. As you are the current Hokage you would be more than free to do so. I've advised the Sandaime for several years so I could help you with your issues."

"Actually I was thinking of someone else other than myself. He was as good as a grandson to sensei." Asuma now knew what this was about. It would seem that Tsunade was plotting to find a way to help Naruto train and if anyone could help the boy particularly with his sorry taijutsu it would be the old monkey.

"As he is now I am afraid I can not agree to that. In a few years though once he has matured a bit then it would be alright with me. Asuma, will you sign the contract?"

"I am afraid I can't bring myself to do it, Enma. I am just not ready for that step yet I think. I believe I see where you are going and I do hereby release the monkey contract to be carried by whoever it is you choose."

The great monkey nodded though he looked disappointed. "Very well then, Tsunade you may hang onto the contract until the boy is ready for it. When that day arrives I will talk to him and see what shall be the future set up for our contract. If that is all I shall return home." At the nods of everyone in the room he disappeared.

"Alright Tsunade, what is going on?" Asuma demanded to know.

"The council is exiling Naruto that is what is going on. I'm trying to work something to help the boy."

"Noo, not boss. They can't kick him out as he is our inspiration. Without him around we have no one to learn from that is worth anything." Konohamaru seemed to have recouped enough energy to join in on this part of the conversation. Tsunade had been hoping he had fallen asleep. Asuma rubbed his nephew's shoulder.

"Don't worry kid. I'll help you train if no one else will. It'll be a lot of work but in the end you will be strong before you know it." The small boy perked up at his uncle's words.

"I'm afraid they have and I can't do a thing about it. Asuma, you don't mind what I'm trying to do, do you?"

Asuma shakes his head to answer as he is in a mild state of shock. "I know the kid is a bit on the dumb side but what did he do to deserve this?"

"Not sure as the council hasn't come to me with their official statement so I could quote it to you. All I can say is that the boy won't be leaving alone. I need you both to swear to keep a lid on this until later if you would though. I can't have anyone catching on to me helping him until it is too late." Tsunade didn't feel the need to point out the most obvious reason they would want the boy out because she figured Konohamaru would probably figure something out if they tried to talk over his head.

The two Sarutobis nodded to this while Asuma realized the likely reason was the boy using kyubi's chakra while fighting Sasuke. "Should I round up some of pop's scrolls then? I know for a fact that he had more jutsu info in his personal library than was ever in the official one of the Hokage. He wasn't called Professor simply for mastering all the ones in this village after all."

"If you wouldn't mind as that would be most helpful. Please drop them off here around noon if you would."

Asuma agreed and left with Konohamaru while the two discussed what they should put together.

Once the two were out of earshot she turned to Jiraiya. "Make any progress with our other project?"

"Yeah, I think I've got a solution. Want me to see about setting our young snake free?"

"Yes, go do that before picking up Naruto. I am going to give her a special assignment before we leave."

X_0X_0X_0

The Forest of Death, or perhaps Training Area 44, was a lovely place to spend a day when you have nothing better to do. Mitarashi Anko enjoyed lounging about here during the day so she wouldn't have to put up with the daily boredom that came from being around everyone else. She was glad to hear about the little blonde fox brat being safe but she knew that she was in the minority. If she had to hear one more person talking ill about the kid she knew she would show people how deadly a dango skewer was. She really had no reason for the kid to matter to her in her own opinion but she saw the torment he had suffered in the village. While he wasn't strung up and stoned like she had once his torture was a bit more malicious in nature. The suppression of the boy was an ugly thing in her opinion and every time she saw it made her question if her sensei might not have seen what the old man kage had not and that was that the village was rotten to the core.

She turns to a sound near her side to find the infamous writer of Icha Icha standing on the same branch as her. "What do you want you dirty bastard? I ain't letting you feel me up and you are a bit too old for me to have much fun with. You would die of blood loss before I was half finished." She smiled her best sadistic snake bitch smile at the white haired man.

"Good morning to you too, Anko. I figured I would stop by and ask if you would like to help me with something."

"Oh and what would that be?"

"I think I know a way to help you with your problem." Here he pointed at his shoulder. "I had a chance to study more of them and I think I have a solution. Care to help me further my research?"

At those words she couldn't peel back her jacket or her strange mesh looking top to expose the seal to the pervert. Understanding her eagerness he set about removing it. Good thing they were out here though because it was going to hurt like hell when it was removed.

"I also have a request for you from the Hokage once we are done here." He tells her as he works.

X_0X_0X_0

"Y..You wished to see me, Hokage-sama?" Hinata did everything she could to calm herself down as she stood before Tsunade in her office. Her father had brought her to this meeting and was standing not three feet to her right and it wouldn't do to appear weak or timid in this situation.

"Yes Hinata. I was wondering how you would feel about learning more about medicine and anatomy. Feel free to speak here as your father will not do anything to you for answering truthfully."

Hinata looked at her father and while his face remained stern he nodded his head to her. "I w..would like to learn very much. T..though to be honest I would also like to remain a combat nin..ninja."

Tsunade nodded as if she understood what the girl was trying to say. "So how would you like to be my second apprentice? I won't interfere in your clan lessons but I believe it is high time a Hyuga was trained as a med nin. You fortunately, my dear, fit the bill of what I am looking for. You are young, bright, already show some proficiency judging by that salve Naruto had with him, and caring."

"I have already discussed this with the Hokage, Hinata, and I assure you I will not oppose your decision should you agree." Hiashi answered his daughter unasked question when she looked at him.

"I accept!" Hinata blushed at her own outburst and then began a bit more timidly. "B…but what about the elders and their rulings? They will not let me."

"Fortunately, on the matter of apprenticeship, only the parent, the child, and the master have any say. That said, I welcome you as my second official apprentice, Hyuga Hinata." Saying that Tsunade stamped the paper in front of her decreeing Hinata as her second apprentice and filed it away for later.

"Th…thank you, Hokage-sama." Hinata managed to say as she and her father turned to leave. She looked surprised, a bit confused, and very happy as her father lead the way out.

As they walked out of the room they spotted Homura and Koharu walking in unannounced. It took everything in Hiashi not to sneer outright at the two. It wouldn't do for him to start a scene especially with his daughter there. With any luck this would help her with what was to come and if his suspicions were correct it would lead to some interesting things in her future.

Tsunade looked up from filing Hinata's apprenticeship form and noticed the two elders in her office. This was going to be trying and especially so what with her granduncle's sword sitting on her desk from where she had been inspecting it after it had been repaired. She hadn't had a chance to see if it worked yet and this was such a prime opportunity. She restrained herself only because she wanted to pull off the biggest prank/shock the village had ever seen.

"What the hell do you two want?"

Homura decided to start up the session as he felt there would be less hostility about it if he announced it rather than Koharu. "We are here to inform you of some decisions the elder council has reached. The first will be that Uchiha Sasuke is to be released with no charges once he recovers from his coma. Do you find this acceptable?"

"Hell no seeing as that little bastard ran to an enemy of the village knowing full well what he did. He'd be lucky if I didn't have him castrated and roasted on a spit in the middle of the village if it wasn't for the fact that Naruto asked me not to. Sadly the boy is determined he didn't know what he was doing so I'm just going to put him in a prison until we can remove the seal and possibly beat some sense into him."

Koharu decided to speak up. "We can't allow that to happen. We believe he was under the influence of the kyubi's energy leaking from his team mate and then savagely beaten to within an inch of his life by same team mate. On that note we also believe that due to how much of kyubi's energy the Uzumaki has demonstrated and was felt during the Valley of the End incident that the boy poses a threat to the village. As such we have already sent a request to the daimyo recommending he be banished from the country and expect he will agree with us. The boy has two days to get out of Konoha and assuming he fails to comply he is to be executed."

Tsunade reared up and grasped both by the neck lifting them off their feet. "I should kill the two of you where you stand but I won't." She sat them down. "If you daimyo sided with you I would not be able to fight him and his troops but I swear you two will regret this. Now out of my sight so I can decide how to break this to him. I assume I can at least send a few scrolls with him to help him learn to try and control the energy, right?"

This was more than either of the two wanted to agree to but they felt that making a concession on this would make them look better and more merciful or maybe it was because they were certain she would kill them if they tried to argue on this one. It is amazing at what you can pull over on someone if you give just enough of a fight to lower their fears. Homura spoke up. "Very well, you may let him take no more than a single scroll with him but only one."

Tsunade looked ready to remove their heads in a manner similar to the method used on chickens but reined in her temper. "Don't worry, I will do as requested but I know this is a mistake. I want that on record."

The two accepted that and turned to leave trying not to look like they had pissed themselves. Smug on their success they didn't even bother to give thought to the problems of age and confronting massive killing intent.

X_0X_0X_0

"You wanted to see me baachan?" Naruto entered her office looking bright eyed and bushy tailed.

"Yes Naruto. I have something I need to tell you. You see the council decided that you posed a threat to the village and have decided to have you exiled."

Naruto's happy go lucky demeanor evaporated in an instant. "So they finally got around to it ehh? I was wondering when they would cook that one up. Suppose they've tried before though."

Tsunade was a bit surprised he wasn't shouting and screaming about this but felt the issue needed to be addressed first and then she would worry about his behavior. "Yes. They felt that you are in danger of choosing to let the kyubi free and they won't let you pose a risk to the village. You have two days to leave before they hunt you down to kill you."

"Hm.. two days ehh? I think I can swing that. Baachan, mind if I leave the council a few presents on my way out?"

"No Naruto I don't mind but let me tell you that you won't be going alone. My apprentices and I will be joining you." Naruto looked like he really was about to pitch a fit here but she continued before he could speak. "I will not remain in a village that has strayed so far as to do this to a young man who has done no wrong. My grandfather and grand uncle didn't found this city for it to do these kinds of things. I've already made arrangements and should have everything ready to leave early tomorrow morning if you think you will be ready by then. If you think you will be, I would like you to meet me at the west gate of the village then."

"I don't think you should leave on my account, baachan but I thank you. I should be able to make it but I'll be up all night prepping. I have to get my stuff together to meet you. Do you know what we will be doing?"

Tsunade smiled evilly. "Either sell our work to the highest bidder or make a new village. I'm still undecided as to which to be honest. We will discuss that after it is all over I think. I'm going to make the ruling known publically within the hour so I suspect you will be having visitors this evening. I suggest you do your pranking in the dead of night."

Naruto chuckles for once in a manner not light hearted but much more sinister. It would seem having a demon inside him has taught him more than how to tune out bitching about hunger and glowing red eyes. "Don't worry. I assure you I'll be ready to leave and leave behind a small gift to the kind folks on the council. Anyone I shouldn't target?"

"Leave the Naras, Akimichis, Yamanakas, and the Inuzukas alone. The Aburame refused to vote on the issue but I think it would also be a good idea not to potentially anger some allies if we can avoid it. Everyone else is free game other than Hiashi and his family. He also voted against the measure."

"Excellent. I have just the thing for the rest and the village as a whole too. See you later baachan." Naruto was going to be busy tonight of that he was sure. He had a jutsu library to raid on top of everything else.

"Oh and Naruto, you can only have one scroll with you when you leave. I suggest you use sealing if you are planning on taking a lot."

"Righto. I think I remember how to do that from class." He stepped out of the office to head out there and get down to business.


	3. Raid and Preperation

AN: Yeah, you guessed it, I don't own Naruto. If I did I would be rolling in money off of merchandising and probably negotiating a deal to make an mmo based on the setting.

X_0X_0X_0

The village was abuzz with the latest bit of info handed down from the council and the Hokage's tower. It would seem they would finally be rid of the demon brat. On that news there was much rejoicing amongst the general populace. During all of this we find the four jonin sensei's of our genin heroes commiserating at a table in a cheap bar.

"Damn it all. He brought the boy back and they kick him out over it? I don't understand." Kakashi moans while tilting back in his chair. It would seem he has been drinking quite heavily since probably before it was even noon.

"The council's decision is most unyouthful but there is no way for us to oppose them without setting a bad example for our students. I for one can not do that regardless of how much I would like to." Gai would seem to be very unhappy as he doesn't even have the energy to shout or ping his teeth.

"Relax guys. The Hokage has something planned I know it. Shizune just got done visiting my nephew and me to pick up some memento of pops to give to him as he left. I am sure he won't be gone long."

"Asuma, you know that won't cheer Kakashi up though it is a nice thing of you to do. Personally I'm going to have my hands full with Hinata once she finds out about this. The poor girl is going to go either suicidal or homicidal the moment she finds out. I expect to hear she's pulled an Itachi come early tomorrow morning."

Asuma looks at Kurenai like she was speaking crazy talk. "I doubt it. Hiashi would never allow it and that girl won't act against her father for love or money."

"Money no but love I'm not so sure of." Kurenai mutters. "I think I'll be spending the night near the Hyuga compound all the same to see if I can prevent something bad from happening. If I hit it right I could induce sleep before she does something drastic."

"Neji will also watch over the girl of this I am sure. Do not worry so much Kurenai. It'll hurt your youthful image."

"Stuff it, Gai. You know what screw it I give up. I'm going to go try to drink Anko under the table and see what happens. With any luck I'll wake up dead." Kakashi stands up and takes about three steps before collapsing in a heap on the floor.

"Tch… most unyouthful. I'll drag him back to his house then. I suppose I'll see the rest of you at the gate tomorrow yes?"

Asuma and Kurenai answer together him together with a resounding yes.

X_0X_0X_0

Naruto cackled evilly as he dropped next to the largest house of in the Uchiha district figuring it had to of been the one belonging to the clan head. "Kick me out will they? Let's see how they like my response." He found a window in the back of the place that wasn't locked nor sealed. "What no security on a house of the leader of the military police in a village of ninja? Surely they should have secured it in case Itachi returned to the scene of the crime." He gave it up as possibly being that they figured they couldn't stop the weasel even if he did come back and squirreled his way inside.

"First things first time to raid the jutsu library. Taiju Kage Bunshin no Jutsu." Naruto was suddenly in a room with a hundred shadow copies of himself. "Begin the hunt. Leave no stone unturned and no nook unsearched. Find any traps or alarms disarm them and salvage what you can and the same applies for weapons." He watches as they begin to storm through the building. The army runs to its assigned task while Naruto begins to apply explosive notes on the major supports of the building. "Pranking is a blast."

X_0X_0X_0

Deidara suddenly felt the need to sue someone for stealing or at least paraphrasing his catch phrase for some strange reason. In order to get over it he decided to go mess with Kisame. He really wanted to know if the man had to sleep walk to survive since fish, and thus sharks, couldn't breathe without moving. It's something he has wanted to know since he met the guy. Perhaps this time he could find out.

X_0X_0X_0

"Boss, we've found it." A clone returns to Naruto just as he applied the final note.

"Excellent, lead the way." Naruto followed his clone and found some of what he was looking for. The dust covered room contained several scrolls outlining several different jutsu techniques from all the major three categories and then some. He is also somewhat depressed though seeing as it seems there were less than forty scrolls present. He actually got a surprise here in a book outlining some history of the Uchiha clan which contained some info on a secret meeting place. He starts to read on that one as his clones set about sealing all he found into a rather large scroll covered in various containment seals with all the similar element scrolls going into the same seals. Any of the non-elemental ones were placed together in the largest containment seal on the scroll. "Hurry it up, looks like I've got a temple to visit before nightfall."

The clones finish in little more than ten minutes. A few minutes later Naruto sees to sealing the materials from any deactivated traps and weapons into the scroll himself. In an effort to add the finishing touch he removes several blank scrolls from within the containment seal on his large scroll and restocked the shelves. He slips back out the way he came in. His next target located he slips through the district dispatching kage bunshins to plant more tags in key facilities. No need for the old dispatch office of the mps after all nor their armory. Finding the temple he was searching for Naruto enters through the front door. Apparently this place was left wide open imagine that. The arrogance of the village to assume no one would try to loot this district was truly mind boggling to the boy considering the wealth of information it most likely held. Finding the correct mat he stepped into the secret meeting room of the clan.

Looking around Naruto found a few documents, not many but enough, that contained various blue prints of key buildings in the city, ninja patrols of same locations, radio frequencies employed by said guards, and some charts depicting angles of attack. "Well fancy that." Naruto actually found this amusing. 'Who would think that the high and mighty much beloved Uchiha clan was plotting a coup? Surely such knowledge would blow the village's minds.' If he was a responsible and proper ninja of the Leaf he would keep his mouth shut about what he found and do nothing about it. Good thing he had officially kicked out already and so there was nothing more they could do to him. Still they might try and kill him if he released this info now. He collected the documents anyway incase they could be ammunition for something in the future and left after planting a few more tags.

X_0X_0X_0

"They've done what?!" Yamanaka Ino screamed directly into Nara Shikamaru's and Akimichi Choji's faces.

"Troublesome blonde, I said they have banished Naruto."

"I won't have anyone who can even attempt to beat me at a ramen eating contest anymore." The rotund boy looked quite depressed about more than that. "I mean we go to all that trouble, succeed, and one of us gets kicked out."

Shikamaru had more to add to that statement though. "That isn't all that is at work here. There is also the fact that if they can do this to one ninja they could do it to any. It's an assault on the sovereignty of the Hokage as well as our friend." He leaves it unsaid his own suspicions about their blond friend.

"We need to at least speak with him." With that said Ino latches onto the two boys that make up the rest of her cell and dragged them behind her. Traveling down the street they run into a pissed looking Inuzuka Kiba.

"I guess you guys have heard too, right? He's being kicked out for posing a clear danger to the village according to the official statements. Can you believe this?" Kiba can barely control his subconscious growling enough to talk straight as he stands there next to the group.

"We're going to talk to Naruto. Come on and let's all just get this over with. Perhaps we can at least find out why he is being kicked out."

"We'll join you if you don't mind." Tenten and Rock Lee hop down from a nearby tree to join the others.

"No, the more the mer… err well just no." It seems Ino really doesn't know how to handle this as being a loudmouthed bitch probably won't help with anyone's nerves. As the group arrives at where they understand Naruto to live they find Aburame Shino standing outside the door waiting.

"He is not here yet but I surmise he should be momentarily." It was all Shino said and the others believed that was all he would have to say about his being there.

X_0X_0X_0

Arriving home tired Naruto almost froze up. In front of his door were most of the Rookie Nine excluding his team and Hinata as well as Team Gai sans Neji. Naruto supposed he should have expected this really but he couldn't let them know what he had been up to nor what he was doing even now. A few of his clones were stealing into a few businesses that had denied him service in the past to plant paint tags seeing as he didn't want to do anything that could kill any body. He'd never be let back if he did that after all.

"Hey guys. What are y'all doing here?" He asks them trying to play it off with his usual idiot persona in the forefront. Seeing their looks of seriousness he realizes there will be no way around the coming inquisition. "Don't suppose you could all just let me go inside and forget your questions will you?" At the negative head movements he sighs.

"Alright, tell you all what we will do. You will get one question apiece and I will answer them as honestly as I can. I will not however," seeing them start to blurt out a question, "tell you the exact reason I am being kicked out. Now fire away."

Lee, Tenten, and Ino all asked the first question at the same time which happened to be the same one. "What are you going to do out there?"

Naruto chuckles at that. "Sadly all three of you just lost any more questions. To answer the question though I'll probably start training. If any of you have some jutsus or training manuals you would like to leave me feel free to leave a scroll in my drop box tonight. I'm going to be a bit busy tonight so I probably won't be in again until a little after one. I'll need all the help I can get out there."

The three take the trick as a matter of course from the prankster and accept it. The entire gathered group considers bringing something to drop off for him to help with surviving the wilds.

"No questions but I am simply here to say you will be missed. Take care of yourself out there, Naruto." Shino states in that usual monotone voice while placing a hand on Naruto's shoulder. Unnoticed to all but Shino, Naruto, and Shikamaru one of his bugs crawls under Naruto's collar.

"Thanks Shino. That means a lot to me." Naruto ponders what the bug was for but he figures it was either given as a means to call for help or a method to find him should the village repeal its banishment order. No point in making a confrontation about it at the moment.

Choji hands Naruto one of his bags of chips. "It won't be the same without you. Once they repeal their ruling I look forward to seeing who can eat more ramen. On that note, my question is simple. What will you do for food out there?"

Resisting the urge to sweat drop at the question Naruto answers it none the less. "Probably what I did in the Forest of Death. Catch some animals or eat some instant ramen. You don't need to worry about me. I'm pretty good at living off the land if I have to."

"Idiot, why are you not putting up a fight? Shouldn't you be tearing down the council doors demanding they repeal this?" Kiba finally exploded. He really couldn't believe Naruto wasn't ranting and raving about this unfair mistreatment.

"If I did that it would only give them more ammo to use against me. No, I'll do as they have asked like a good ninja and show them that I keep my word. I swore loyalty to this village when I became a ninja and I will remain loyal to it so long as the head band is upon my head. Besides they would probably try to kill me if I did anything like that anyway… err forget you heard that." Naruto nervously chuckles about that slip and while the others look ready to pounce he waves his hand around like it was nothing important. "Sorry, just kidding there. I doubt they would do that." 'Because I know at least one group in the town would try to stop it and we can't have a civil war here.'

"Naruto, is it because of that?" Shikamaru asks. He doesn't elaborate nor explain what he says but he figures Naruto will catch on to what he is asking. After all as a chunin he was privy to some info that the others were not especially after he did some research the moment he found out about Naruto getting the boot.

"Yeah but its no big deal. Really I'm surprised they are just now trying this."

"Troublesome. Guys, lets get out of his way. I am sure he has some packing to do if that scroll of his is any indication and I believe we should go." This time Shikamaru, for once showing some motivation, forces the group along and away from Naruto's apartment. A few of them try to argue but he points out that Naruto most likely is going to unleash pranking hell in response as there could be no reprisals and its best if they aren't there to interfere or possibly get involved.

Naruto watches them go before unlocking his door and stepping inside. Once there he begins to prepare for his trip by making sure everything is set in his room. About forty minutes into his preparations, just as he is putting away a scroll he had been working on concerning a theory, he hears a knock at his door. Answering it he finds Umino Iruka standing there.

"Hey Iruka-sensei. What's up?"

"Naruto, how are you feeling? I've heard about what is going on and I wanted to check on you. I figured I could at least take you out to ramen one more time and we could talk about things." Iruka scratches at his scar while he speaks to his favorite student.

"Doing as well as expected. Free ramen you said? What are we waiting for? Let's go." Naruto latched onto Iruka's arm and, nearly dislocating it, drags him away and toward Ichiraku pausing only long enough to lock his door.

X_0X_0X_0

While Naruto was trying to pacify Iruka's fears and handling being fussed over by Ayame and Teuchi, Tsunade was paying a visit to the Hyuga clan. She and Hiashi had agreed that she would talk with Hinata about Naruto's banishment rather than letting the girl find it out on the streets. Hiashi had agreed to this after Neji had heard about it and warned his uncle that Hinata would likely snap at the news and probably make what Itachi pulled look like a scout jamboree by comparison. After all, juken wasn't known for leaving pretty corpses if used right and the girl would liable require all the Anbu to put down if such a thing happened. As the saying goes, it's always the quite ones, he had pointed out.

Hinata sat in her father's study nervously playing with her fingers as Hiashi sat beside her with Tsunade taking a seat across from them over a small table. "Hinata, I wanted to talk to you because I've heard of a small disaster in a village not too far from here. They've had an outbreak of a pretty nasty disease and no one has been able to cure it. I've already been informed of it and monitoring the problem. Should anything come up I will be heading out there to handle it myself as it could be a biological weapon set loose to take us out. I'll need both my apprentices with me when I go. Are you willing to come with me? If you are I'll have to promote you to chunin so you can travel about with me to search for any herbs I might need and the like so there are no problems with you moving on your own. Do you accept?"

Hinata nodded her head slowly in a bit of shock. "S…sure Hokage-sama. I'll b…be ready to g…go at a moments notice. Are you sure you should pro… promote m..me for such a thing though?"

"Yes Hinata, I do. Trust me I'm doing this for a good reason. Also, I have another matter to talk with you about. I need you to promise you will no do anything rash when I tell you, okay?"

'Here we go.' Thought Neji as he waited outside the study guarding the door as a proper Hyuga branch member should. He was barring entry for others officially but he was actually there to try and take down Hinata if she should do something unexpected. A similar reason was why Hiashi was in the room with her if the truth be told. At this point he stopped listening in since the less he knew the less he could tell the elders if asked and the two other branch members walking down the hall would also ask questions finding him listening in on a main family meeting.

Hinata thought it strange to be asked to promise not to do anything rash as she has never done anything that would qualify to her knowledge. 'Well there is passing out around Naruto due to rash thoughts of the horizontal mambo I suppose.' Hinata told herself but managed to keep from blushing about that little side thought. "Sure, Hokage-sama. I promise I will not act until you have told me everything."

Tsunade smiled at her answer and pulled out a slip of paper with a seal on it. She activated the seal placing a silencing field around the three and the table between them. "Alright, first I need to tell you that the village council has decided to give Naruto the boot."

The moment Tsunade finished her words Hinata's face went from pale and nervous to the bright red of fury. "**The shitheads did what**?" 'I'll gut them… no I'll castrate the males and feed them the remains before stringing them up by their entrails. Once they are down I'm going to tear the women open and feed them their own livers. I know a lot of the Hyuga elders are on that council as well and ooh what I will do with them. Tear out their eyes and then, with the nerves still attached, shove them up their…'

Hiashi wasn't sure if he wanted to chuckled or bop her on the head for using such language. It would seem hanging around the boy did more than just improve her confidence it also had given her an expanded vocabulary a lady shouldn't have. "Easy Hinata. Finish listening to the Hokage." He interrupted Hinata's mental rant while doing his best to hold her down. It would seem she wasn't as weak as he had thought judging by how much work it was to keep her from jumping from her seat.

Tsunade's eyes actually lit up at seeing the girl's reaction and seemingly as if she had read her mind and approved of her thoughts. "Don't worry. A few hours after Naruto leaves we will be visited by a person suffering from that disease I mentioned. He'll beg us for aid and due to no one else being able to handle it I, Shizune, and you will head out to save the people. We will then meet up with Naruto and join him on the road. I'm not sticking around a town that kicks out dedicated and loyal citizens. Especially the ones I rather like."

Hinata calmed down a bit at hearing this. "Won't we be labeled missing nin then? Not that I care about leaving this place right now." She didn't notice she wasn't stuttering because she was still pumping a lot of anger through her system and it would take awhile to calm down.

"Don't worry about that. I've already filed the paperwork that you are a chunin and that we three are allowed to travel about as we wish without need to worry about any future obligations to the village. We are also absolved from any past or present crimes against the village we might be accused of. Basically it's a similar ruling that I already operated under thanks to sensei for all those years so it's not a big change for me."

"Alright then, I'll get ready to go. I hope to get it over with as I don't know if I'll be able to hold back if I see one of the elders for long though." Hiashi chuckled at that but said nothing.

"Alright, then I've got to make some more arrangements and then we should be all set for the exit come tomorrow evening." Tsunade stands and leaves the room to the two main Hyuga family members disengaging the seal.

"Father, I believe I feel ill. I'm going to my room to rest. Let me know should my new sensei come looking for me." She stood and set out for her room.

Assuming his usual stern visage, Hiashi responded to her request. "I'll send your cousin to get you should she or her other apprentice come looking for you."

Neji personally had been silently praying to any gods he knew of that Hinata kept herself calm for the night as he watched her walk past him. He really didn't want to be stuck cleaning elder off the walls later. Admittedly he had seen no sign of his cousin having such a violent streak but having observed both Tenten and that Haruno girl he was certain all women had one and even more certain the quite ones had even worse ones. His fervor had increased when she had actually looked the part of a perfect Hyuga heir while walking down the halls.

X_0X_0X_0

Danzo was scrambling to abort his already issued orders and start covering tracks. His bug in the Hokage's office had gone dead a few times in the past day and that told him almost as much as it running did. He hadn't gotten to his position or held it for as long by being an idiot and ignoring the writing on the wall. Tsunade was going to pull something and no doubt would send at least one person out with Naruto to watch after him. She probably had already gotten the likely assassin the other two elders would dispatch to agree to protect the boy and if it was the one he expected there would be no chance for his Root agents to stand up to her.

While recalling his men from where they were lying in wait he also had a few others discreetly return a lot of the money his various black projects had dog eared and already withdrawn while going over a several of the villages books to make sure everything matched up. One of his men had spotted some paperwork out on Tsunade's desk while she was away from the office about withdrawing funds from the village for a project and he wanted everything to appear normal. Surely Tsunade knew of his organization or she wouldn't have fried his bug so many times but it would seem that she was implying she would leave him be if he made sure everything looked fine. Thinking for a moment he also sent a few out to make some fishy withdrawals in the names of the other two elders as a bit of revenge for them removing his weapon from his grasp. It wouldn't be enough to destroy them but it would make them look bad and put them on shaky ground. 'Yes, even in defeat find victory.' As he thought about it he chuckled and began to make other plans. He would have the Uchiha at least. He sent for the boy who used the ink abilities. Yes, Team Seven was going to need someone new to replace the exile and he had just the 'genin'.

X_0X_0X_0

Haruno Sakura didn't know what to do with herself at the moment. True it was that Sasuke was back thanks to Naruto but according to the council, and some of what she had seen herself, Naruto had attacked a fellow Leaf ninja. She didn't know if she should curse the boy or be happy that he had kept his promise. She did know that he had not done anything to deserve being exiled over but she supposed it was something that went over her head. Perhaps to do with that red chakra she had seen him use a few times and that no one would explain to her. Perhaps it was a danger to others around him to use it and they felt that he had to be kicked out in order to keep it form harming Sasuke and herself.

'**Right, sure that's it. It can't be because the whole town has had it in for the pest and this was the perfect excuse.'**

'Be quite you. I'm fairly certain they thought this out and are doing it for a good reason. As such I'll do my best to welcome back Sasuke and nurse him to health while trying to …'

'**Not miss the lovable fox faced blonde who has always been on your side? Face it girl this is going to tear your team apart. Don't forget your sensei either. He'll be impossible to work with.' **

"Damn it leave me alone. I need to figure out what to do about all this." Sakura shouted to her inner self within the safety of her room. Realizing what she did she looks about sheepishly for a moment before remembering no one is around to hear her. "Thank heavens. Now how do I help Sasuke get better?" While she talked to herself out loud about winning over the dark haired boy she was working on truly trying to calm her fears about what would happen to her team.

X_0X_0X_0

Naruto returned to his apartment to find several scrolls and books had been placed in his mail slot. That had been a very trying and even tear filled dinner if he had ever been to one between himself and his three oldest friends and most cherished people. On top of all the printed material Naruto found a package addressed to him from Tsunade. Opening it he found a chunin vest along with a letter. Opening the letter he found it to be printed on a handy self destroying sheet of paper, just add chakra. He read the letter to find that he had been promoted to chunin by Tsunade in the hopes that it would help him in his travels as well as give him access to more info should he find his way into other countries or even better missions should he be hired on. Holding the paper over a flame he called up in his other hand he read what was written in invisible ink highlighting what she needed him to do come tomorrow evening. He chuckled at her plan. "And people think I'm a prankster. This is gold but I'll trump it in the end. I wonder if the council will crap themselves when mine goes off." He activates the paper and watches as it crumbles into dust over his waste basket. Before going to bed he sent out a few more clones to go rig three last pranks. Homura and Koharu were going to have a hell of a time getting out of their beds in the morning and in the light of the moon the monument would be expressing itself to the village.

X_0X_0X_0

"Damn it, Deidara. For the last time no I don't sleep walk." Kisame had had all he could stand of being followed around by the odd dude with the mouthy hands. Really he was tempted to put a stop to the pest with a question about how he handles personal hygiene with mouths on his hands but before he could Itachi stepped up beside him.

"Let us go, Kisame. I have news that Naruto-kun will be out in the open soon as the village will be exiling him. This is a good time to pick him up as no one will be there to save him." Itachi's facial expression never altered but Kisame thought he could detect a bit of anger in the Uchiha's stance.

"Can I take his legs this time?" Kisame asks as he turns away and ignores Deidara to leave alongside Itachi. He really hoped he could since he was still upset about the two having to run away the last time.

Itachi said nothing as he lead the way out of the current base of Akatsuki. His mind however was awash with several thoughts both on the weakness of his brother, the foolishness of the village council, and how to deal with this mess its put him in. He was going to have to play this one carefully as he knew that Kisame was his partner for a reason. If it worked out ideally he might even have a new assignment once it was over but he doubted that. Someone had to keep track of Madara at the moment.


	4. A snake a shark and a raven by the road

AN: Once more I say I don't own Naruto. If I did do you really think I would have named the main character after a ramen topping? Here is hoping I don't break the story but I needed to toss in the extra party member here. I mean it's an obvious addition and no one's done it yet in the challenge that I am aware of.

X_0X_0X_0

As dawn broke we find two shadowy figures waiting for a third person to join them. Both of them looked the worse for wear. Homura had barely got out of his bedroom alive and whole this morning in between the pit trap that had appeared right where his slippers usually sat at the side of his bed and the rather perilous mouse trap set up on his commode that he almost didn't spot in time this morning. Koharu hadn't faired any better when she slid up on her seemingly over waxed floor straight out her window into a tree that happened to house some rather startled opossum. You wouldn't think those things were than dangerous until your face was an inch from them and they've been cornered by it. She still had the scratches while Homura was mumbling about what he thought was probably a broken hip.

"I have already sent for the best assassin that I could get without calling attention to the job. She should be more than enough to not only take out the demon but also any of Danzo's men should they attempt to collect him." Homura told Koharu.

"Excellent. We don't need him getting his hands on it. With luck the two might even kill each other and we will be down threat as well as one disrespectful little bitch. Perhaps have her make it look rather nasty, if possible, and break down the upstart as well." Koharu was already plotting how to use this to best beat down Tsunade into being the puppet of the elders. "A shame Danzo is working against us on this."

"That old war bird will never let go of his dream of making the demon into a trump card. He is blind to the threat it poses."

If one is wondering why they aren't being as guarded with their words as might be advisable it might have to do with where they are or perhaps the fact that age and arrogance have made them senile. They were standing on a small hill a mile or so outside the village waiting for their assassin to get there. Speaking of the assassin they hear a shout coming in their direction. "Arriving!" Anko sailed through the air from a nearby tree to make a perfect, if overly showy, landing in front of the two. Looking the two over she just had to ask. "Did I come too early? Were the two of you maybe getting busy? If so I can wait."

The two looked mortified at her implications but simply decided to get this over with. "Nothing like that, Anko. Let us move onto the business at hand, alright?" Homura asked.

"So what do you two bats want with the Leaf's snake?"

"We want to eliminate a threat to the village. If you do this we might see it as proof of your devotion to the village and finally allow you that final promotion up to jonin. We need you to kill the demon child." Homura stated trying to get things started off.

"I can't rightly do that you know. After all he is a fellow Leaf ninja plus I like his energy."

"Listen you impertinent brat. He will no longer be a Leaf ninja around noon today and devils take your infatuation with the beast it must die. We want you to wait until he is just out of sight from any of the watch towers and then to kill him. Make it look as nasty as possible." Koharu again let her anger at younger females and their behavior get to her.

"Alright you old cow. I'll take care of it but you better promote me when this is done. I don't do pro bono work."

"Very well." Both of the two elders agree and head back to the village. They can't be seen out here after all so they rush as fast as they can back to town. Say what you will about their age but it would seem their ability to run was still going strong.

"Yes, I'll take care of the whole matter indeed."

X_0X_0X_0

Naruto got up around ten that morning. He didn't see any need to rush around like an idiot as he had everything prepared the night before. Getting dressed in his recently gifted black outfit, courtesy of Tsunade after that hospital visit, he paused before remembering to also put on the chunin vest. Armor is a traveler's friend when the enemies are unknown after all. He finished putting some of his personal papers and the new items his friends had left for his use into the large scrolls seals before wrapping it up and stringing it across his shoulder. He also picked up a travel pack containing his sleeping bag and other essentials. Strapping on his kunai and shuriken holsters, and after a moment of hesitation his hitai-ite, he set out from his house around 10:30. He stopped by Ichiraku to say goodbye and grab one last meal for the road. After eating around twenty bowls he set out for the west gate. There he spotted Tsunade, Shizune, Iruka, and the four jonin sensei. He knew his friends were being purposely kept busy by Tsunade so as to keep this from being too hectic a good bye. In passing he hoped they would all turn out alright without him around to cheer them on. Sakura would probably get stronger for Sasuke while the avenger would no doubt seek strength without fail. Most of the others would do well too he had to believe. 'Perhaps one day I'll get to see how well they have grown. Perhaps in the future.'

"Hey everyone. Glad you could make it to the big send off." Naruto managed to keep his idiot persona intact for the most part with only minimal warbling.

Before anyone else could say anything Kakashi stepped toward Naruto. "Naruto, I just want to say I am sorry that I've failed you as a team mate. If I had done a better job training all of you this might not have happened."

"That's alright Kakashi-sensei. I believe it will all work out in the end and they will realize this was just a misunderstanding." Kakashi could tell Naruto didn't mean a word of it but did not call the boy on it. Seems the clown was trying to be brave in the face of adversity.

"Naruto, I don't know you very well but I can tell you that a lot of the ninja, me included, are not happy about this happening to you. We will try to do something to repeal this ruling somehow."

"Kurenai-sensei I am afraid you would just be spinning your wheels. We all know the real reason I'm being sent away. On the bright side I know I'll be able to learn some new things out there in the wide open world."

"Kid, I wanted to give you this. It's a picture of dad from a few years back. I'm giving it to you so you will be reminded of where you came from and the friends you have here. There is much knowledge in keeping where you came from in your heart." Asuma handed a framed picture of the Sandaime standing on the top of the Hokage's mansion with a good bit of the village visible in the background.

Naruto caught the hidden message that Asuma was giving him. There was something in the picture or frame for him to look for later when there were no guests. Seriously the Anbu were slipping as he was certain Konohamaru would sense at least two of them that were watching. It would seem the Anbu loyal to the council were the runts of the litter which was something to keep in mind. "I will cherish it always, Asuma-sensei."

"Yosh! Naruto, I have only some training weights to give to you to aid in your future growth while you are still young. I wish you well my boy and I am certain you will outshine the council and its worrisome actions with the flames of your youth."

Unslinging his bag, Naruto packed the portrait into it before hiking it back up and strapping on the weights handed to him by Gai. They weren't as heavy as the ones Lee used but that would be a bit crazy if they were since he had not trained up to those kinds of weight yet. "Thanks. I'll put them to use and, with some luck and hard work, possibly make a new style. I'll look forward to meeting you again some day to see what you think about it. How does that sound?"

"A swell idea, Naruto." Gai gave his good guy pose complete with pinging teeth. Everyone sweat dropped when they heard one Anbu fall out of his hiding spot due to being surprised by the ping and thus blinded by it. 'Yeah, really green Anbu work for the council alright.' That shared thought went through everyone present's heads.

Iruka stepped up to Naruto before the Hokage and her assistant could move. He said nothing at first and just gave Naruto a hug. "I'll miss you otouto. You take care of yourself out there and try not cause too much hell for wherever you settle down at."

"Will do Iruka-oniisan. Well I might raise a little hell now and then but you can't keep a prankster down for long after all. I am sure the people I settle down near will have a better sense of humor than most here. You watch yourself too alright? I want you find yourself a girl so I can hear about your kids in the future." Naruto laughed to keep from crying at this point. Iruka only nodded his head resisting the urge to tear up himself.

Shizune and Tsunade stepped forward to look Naruto over. "We will miss you Naruto. You take care out there alright?" Shizune looked about ready to cry since she rather liked the kid but knew there was no stopping this. She just kept telling herself that she would meet up with the kid in a few hours anyway so there was no reason to worry.

"I'll do that, Shizune-neechan. Don't you worry as I'm a bit stronger than I appear to be." Naruto answered with was sounded like false modesty by the way he smiled while saying it. He then turned to Tsunade knowing that this next exchange would be rather painful.

"Uzumaki Naruto, I am here to officially banish you from Konohagakure. Please remove your hitai-ite as you are hereby stripped of your rank as a shinobi of Konoha. You may retain the official rank of Chunin as you have proven yourself on the field by handling a mission against several jonin class enemies as well as being the key instrument of the completion of said mission." Tsunade kept her visage as blank as she could even though she wanted to cry at the obvious pain this was causing the blond brat.

Naruto removed his hitai-ite and turned not to Tsunade but to Iruka and solemnly handed it to him. "You gave me your hitai-ite so it is only right I return it to you. I only hope that you may wear get more use out of it than I did."

"Then, Uzumaki Naruto, you are hereby banished from Konohagakure until such a time the council sees fit to retract its banishment. As such you are absolved of any obligations to the village. May your journey be peaceful and prosperous."

X_0X_0X_0

Naruto nodded and set out from the gate at a casual walking pace, well one for a ninja anyway. He continued on for a good while away from the village. Once he was about a mile out of sight Naruto breathed a sigh of relief as the feeling of being watched abated for the moment. There were still one set of eyes on him that he knew of.

"AAAAAnkoooo-chaaaaan, would you stop doing that? You are giving me the willies."

"Didn't think you would call me that ever again brat." Anko jumped down next to Naruto from the tree she had been perched in.

"After that stunt with my blood I was inclined to never do it again but I figure you are here to either provide me some protection or kill me. Which is it?"

"The council sent me to kill you, kid. But as you know I couldn't kill my favorite little guy. I mean I've been looking after you for years. The wonders of not being on the official records, eh?"

"Hai, so you going to join up with our merry band then? That will be pretty awesome as you can finally get around to showing me that fighting style you use and no one can prevent it."

"Sure thing kiddo. I suppose we are just going to wait a bit? Oh before I forget you are also now officially Tsunade's apprentice. Or will be in a few hours at any rate. She wanted me to tell you."

"Cool. That means I can try something I was thinking about a while back after having fought that bastard Kabuto."

"Another of your crazy theories? I swear Itachi never should have given you that speech. He really should have known it would create a monster."

"Ahh come on, Anko-chan. You know you love the odd things I cook up thanks to having been around the two of you too much back in my impressionable years. It could be worse and I could have taken after your blood thirsty ways." At Anko's shudder at the idea of Naruto behaving exactly like her she decided he won that argument. "Still, I suppose I'm going to have to keep playing the idiot for a bit longer. Can't go scaring the old woman as she might have a heart attack."

"Alright brat but I swear if you keep it up once we cross the border into whatever country we are heading to I will use one of my pets to give you a trip you'll never forget."

"Really, should you be threatening a kid like me with psychotropic venom? Mentioning Itachi, I think you and I should hide. You got a way to cloak us? This should be informative. On my mark we will attack. If you would please leave Itachi to me."

Anko nods as she felt the brief pulse of energy right before she and Naruto faded into the trees and he dropped a clone that took to the woods around them. "So I get stuck with the fish. Great." Anko mutters. 'Oh well, the brat and he has some business to work out I suppose.'

X_0X_0X_0

A small fox ran across an open clearing in the forest and met upon a small weasel. The two stared at each other for a moment before the fox patted the ground with its tail in a quick pattern. The weasel seemed to nod in understanding before rushing into the underbrush to hide. Meanwhile the fox turned in the direction of Konohagakure to attend to other matters.

X_0X_0X_0

Itachi blinked for a moment. "Kisame, it would seem that our target is not alone. Please entertain our second guest."

Kisame's smile got real large as he prepared for a fight. Out of the trees near the two Naruto and Anko charged. Anko went straight for Kisame aiming to incapacitate with poison. While the big man could probably take quite a bit Anko had been trained by the grand Snake himself so she had plenty of poisons to use. While they were busy Naruto attempted to hit Itachi with a hastily created rasengan but had his hand caught and held up before the man. He made the mistake of looking into those swirling red eyes and then found himself in a world of black and red.

Within Tsukiyomi Naruto stared up at the blood red moon before looking at Itachi standing across from him. The S-class criminal Uchiha slid his hand to his kunai holster slowly. Naruto tensed up prepared for anything here in this illusion realm except for what he saw. Itachi pulled out a stick of pocky and began to munch on it. "So Naruto, what the hell happened?" Naruto went face first into the ground at that.

Only in the illusion world did Itachi slip from his overly polite behavior into who he really wanted to be. Naruto had seen this particular side of the Uchiha genius before back when he was one of the Anbu assigned to guard him when he was little in case someone tried to kidnap or kill him. Hiruzen left nothing to chance even the unrecorded birth of the Yondaime's son. He knew that a few of the enemies would have known about it and moved accordingly to protect the boy. He had never told Naruto the reason for the protection but the boy had always thought it was to protect him from the people who had been mean to him with their words on occasions. And maybe that one guy who had the snakes who had tried to grab him back when he was two if he gave it much thought.

"Shouldn't you at least do the whole seventy two hours spiel first? Never mind it doesn't matter. Alright here is how it went down with your whiney little brother." Naruto set about informing Itachi of the events for the past few years including the exams up through to Sasuke's attempted defection.

"I suppose it might have been a bit much to expect you to stop a sannin. I hadn't realized he would go after Sasuke so soon and hoped he would wait until the boy was a bit older. I thank you for keeping tabs on him so I could find out what is going on with him. I've heard you got banished. Any reason for that one?"

Naruto again filled Itachi in on what happened including the battle at the Valley of the End and all the destruction the two had caused. "I managed to stop him from going to the Snake as well as retrieving him but the council decided to use this chance to get rid of their demon. I'm going to have to travel around for awhile now while I figure out what to do. Tsunade and her apprentice…" Naruto just realized something. "Wait she said apprentices… oh well at any rate they will be joining me on my exodus it would seem. Anko-chan too I believe. We can't dick around here too long though so once this finishes you guys will need to get scarce unless you want to check in with the current Hokage, Tsunade-baachan."

"Yes, I think I will stick around to check in with her. I want to know if I should continue this assignment or join you."

"Before I forget I've got a prank all set that I want to run by you. I've rigged everything up to blow the entire Uchiha sector to hell. Do you mind if I pin it on you to give the council a heart attack about you sneaking in and causing so much trouble?"

"Go ahead. It won't hurt my reputation any if it works plus I'll consider it a bit of pay back for kicking out one of my charges. What will you do with the evidence you found?"

"Ahh, I suppose I missed that marking trap. Yeah I snuck into the temple and found it all. I figured at a later date I would release it to a newspaper to put the squeeze on the council about the whole cover up."

"Excellent plan, Naruto."

"Well then… I guess we have another what, 71 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds to go? Want to play cards?" Naruto asks.

Itachi chuckles while a deck appears in his hands. "Ever played poker?"

Outside the illusion Anko huffed while she watched the two stare at each other while she trussed up the unconscious fish. She had read some of the reports she had managed to sneak a peek at and knew enough not to try and pick up Kisame's Samehada. Really the guy had no decent poison tolerance at all. She wasn't even using the good ones yet and he was barely alive. The two snapped out of it and sat down to wait along with Anko. Naruto after a moment reaches into his bag and pulls out the Kazekage's hat and plopped it on his head to keep the sun out. At their stares he just looked at them. "What? Finder's keepers and all that. Not my fault no one else picked it up after the invasion."

X_0X_0X_0

A man covered in festering sores approached the gates of Konoha a mere two hours later. He called out to the guards for help but warned them not to get too close. He had a contagious disease his village had suddenly broke out in and came to find aid. He asked them to send for their head medic. Tsunade arrived fairly fast once the guards placed in the call but not so fast as to arouse suspicion. After a quick scan of the man she asked him to stay outside the village while she rounded up some assistants. Stopping to address the guard before she went into town took only a moment. "It's a bit of a severe case so I'm going to head out to check on it myself since I'm the most qualified. I'm going to get my assistant and my newest apprentice. This will be a learning experience. Let the council know I'll be back probably within the week." Having delivered her message she ran back into town to round them up and left with both Shizune and Hinata in mere moments. On her head was the Hokage's hat in order to declare who she was to the world and beside her were her first and second apprentice. Strapped across all three of their backs were scrolls ostensibly carrying medical supplies as they asked the man to lead the way back to his village. Threats like bio warfare couldn't wait for her to classify it and hand it out and should be dealt with swiftly after all.

A few moments of travel, which was pretty fast considering they were following a supposedly sick civilian but guards don't question the Hokage, they were out of sight of the watch towers. The sickly man turned into a Naruto clone and began leading the group back to its originator. 'Wait until the boss sees this. At least he should have someone close to his own age to talk to during all this now.'

X_0X_0X_0

In the dark of the Hokage's empty office were four last pieces of paperwork that had already been signed and stamped. The first named Uzumaki Naruto as the third official apprentice of Tsunade. The second released the sum total of half of all of the village's funds to Tsunade for use in a black ops project. The third stated that Jiraiya was to be made Hokage should she be found unfit or unable to continue the task. The final one authorized the transference of a genin by the name of Sai to Team 7. Danzo's Root agent snapped a picture of these documents before returning to the shadows to bring what he had found to his boss. It would seem that as usual his master's predictions were accurate and this was going to be a very interesting future.

X_0X_0X_0

Shock was on the faces of most of those gathered together in the clearing. Hinata and Shizune at seeing Itachi sitting there calmly with Naruto and Anko and Naruto at Hinata even being there. After a bit of noise with everyone trying to speak at once Tsunade finally got everyone to quite down by smashing a nearby boulder. "Alright, lets clear this all up. First Itachi is not a true missing nin. He was assigned to do what he did that night by the council and sensei. Also he is currently working as a deep cover spy within Akatsuki."

"I can't believe the council would have asked him to wipe out his entire clan."

Itachi fielded this accusatory statement readily enough. "I didn't have a choice really. At the time I had to either do that or watch the village erupt in a civil war. I couldn't allow that as at the time there was still some hope left in the village. Father was power hungry in a way that I can't explain. I think Madara may have gotten into his head somehow to have lead the Clan down that path."

"M…Madara, as in Uchiha Ma…Madara? I t…thought he was d…dead."

"Sadly no. I don't know how he still lives but he is alive as surely as you or I. I've spent the past few years trying to keep an eye on him but couldn't find him shortly after I left the village. I did manage to find his organization he was manipulation though and infiltrated it."

This calmed down Tsunade's first and second apprentice well enough for now. "I take it you are here to see what you official orders are to be now?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama. I wish to confirm if I am to continue carrying out my current task or if I am to be reassigned. First I suppose I should give my report though."

"Before that not everyone present knows the needed information for that to be discussed freely. Please hang on just a moment. Naruto, you need to tell Hinata here the real reason you were kicked out."

Looking reluctant but conceding the point, Naruto had to ask her something first. "Alright obaachan but why did you have to drag Hinata into this?"

"I c…came of my o…own will Naruto-kun. Tsunade t…told me of what she would be doing and I s…signed up willingly. I c….can't let a friend be treated like this and not help."

"Thank you Hinata. I really mean that." Naruto walked up to her to make sure she could see the sincerity in his eyes. "Are you ready to learn one of the village's greatest S-class secrets?"

"Is this a…bout the k…kyubi being in you?"

Naruto jumped back. "How the hell did you know about that?"

"A…almost all the Hyuga know. Kind of h…hard to hide that chakra from the b….Byakugan. I didn't know until y….your match with Neji when I s….saw it for a moment when I opened my eyes. I a…asked father about it and he t…told me." Hinata didn't mention she had mostly figured it out from the brief glimpse she had when waking in the arena after she had passed out, seeing the fight between the two demons outside the village, and considering what she knew about Naruto.

"And you are okay with being around me? I mean doesn't it worry you I could go nuts and possibly eat you or something?"

"Na…Naruto-kun would never do that. I…I know you w…will continue to protect everyone f…from it as you always have."

"Again Hinata thanks. I can't really express how much you acceptance means to me." Naruto truly was lost for words here.

Clearing his throat, Itachi recalled the adults and kids attention from the touching scene. "Not to interfere but about my assignment. Do you need me to continue to monitor Akatsuki's and Madara's movements or shall I join up with you all here? If I do that they will be down a total of three members resulting in quite a delay in their plans if they need to train more agents."

Tsunade paces a few times to ponder her options. On the one hand having Itachi with them could help quite a bit and it seems Naruto is fairly comfortable around him. For that matter the kid seems strangely relaxed around Anko too. She is going to have to ask about that once they find a more secure place to talk. "I suppose you might as well come along with us at this point. Madara won't need to attack the village now since its going to implode due to the elders anyway thus making Akatsuki as a whole more of a threat. Delaying it will work more to our advantage than not. Do not worry though because there are already some back up plans prepared to help everyone from the village stay safe and sound. Its just the government that is going to collapse."

Itachi nods his head and turns to the now awake Kisame. Apparently the shark man was very surprised by this turn of events. "Then I suppose this is where our partnership ends." Itachi snaps Kisame's neck while Anko slips a dagger into the base of his skull to make sure. Nodding the two figure that should ensure he is dead. Itachi takes a moment to take Kisame's ring as well. "I suppose we should take his sword too." Naruto jumps on that task and has it sealed into his large scroll of seals in a moment. Tsunade seals the corpse as well to see if there was anything to learn from it.

"Now Naruto, explain to me why you have the Kazekage's hat." Tsunade states.

Naruto begins to explain his reasons for having the hat as they set off to the west. Naruto had suggested that direction in passing to Tsunade earlier on when all of this was being plotted out. When she had asked why he had simply said he had something to retrieve from the bottom of a river.

X_0X_0X_0

It had been a long day in the village. Not long after Tsunade had left there were a rash of paint tags and other forms of remote vandalism erupting across town. It was obvious to all the victims who had done it but nothing could be done as it was only a minor prank and not something they could commission a kill over without paying a load of money. After that it was found someone had blown the pipes pumping water to the richest district of the village. It seemed to have not affected the Hyuga clan though oddly enough. They had set up an independent water system years ago just in case someone was to assault the village's supply. It paid to be prepared after all.

Jiraiya sat on the Hokage's Mansion's roof drinking some sake and reminiscing about back when this village really practiced what it preached. After a small scuffing noise he spotted Hiashi walking up to sit beside him. Pouring another cup for the Hyuga head, the both of them were looking at the monument and toasted to it. Hiashi had come out here to simply get away from it all for a moment. Few would interfere with a discussion with one of the sannin but he didn't say a word at the moment. He too was remembering a simpler time when he still had his brother with him and all was right with the world.

As the moon rose with the fall of night both saw a sight that made them spit out their drink and look at it to make sure it wasn't drugged. There on the side of the monument was what looked like someone's butt moon the entire village. Both of them fell over laughing their asses off at what they saw after confirming that it was indeed there. "I have the feeling the village is going to be suffering some attacks like this from now on." Hiashi stated.

"Knowing the kid I wouldn't be surprised if half the village winds up convinced there are suffering the wrath of some fox spirits for disturbing the great kyubi and running it from this place. If nothing else I think we are in for some interesting times. So what did you come to see me about exactly?"

"I want your help. I know you've worked out something for our scaly friend. I was wondering if you would like to try helping crack another seal with a different kind of curse."

"About damn time. Get me any documents you can about it but keep it out of sight. In about a week I'll be able to officially help and then we can act in the open but I'll need to read up on it to see what I can do."

Hiashi nods as he takes another sip of sake.


	5. Dinner and Conflagaration

AN: Yeah, you know the drill. I don't own Naruto but I'm sure Hinata is working her way there. Admittedly the latest manga chapter is a load off my mind because now I know nothing I write will be totally unbelievable for the series. If I keep cranking this out I'm going to have to find a beta or something as I keep spotting errors about four hours after posting.

X_0X_0X_0

Hanzo reread the report his old collogue in Konoha had sent him. He really could not believe a word of it. The jinchuriki of the strongest of all the bijuu was no longer claimed. It had been bad enough that they had it and let it go to waste but to simply boot the potentially most powerful weapon of all time to the curb was almost insulting to all the nations. All of them had scrambled and worked hard to find and contain the bijuu in the hopes of maintaining a balance and now Konoha had just pissed all over that careful balancing act. It really was enough to make him consider going to the village himself and letting his salamanders eat the citizens.

Of course he wasn't in his position by being stupid so he knew why Danzo had sent him this information. It was to arrange for Hanzo to pick the boy up. The old cripple probably expected Hanzo to be able to correct the boy's lousy training and possibly use him to destroy Akatsuki, preferably after they have neutralized all the other jinchuriki in the world of course. One would expect the war bird to have not wanted another nation to have the boy but Danzo had had several dealing with Hanzo and felt that if anyone outside of the Konoha could be trusted it was this man.

Hanzo also found it interesting that the boy was heading in this direction if a bit south. Most likely going to the Land of Rivers for some reason or other was his guess. He sent for his men as he had several things to prepare and at least a team or two of ninja to dispatch. Team Oboro was definitely amongst the ones he would send as they could identify the boy on sight for him. What no one would need to know wouldn't hurt them. Now to get his body double ready while he stepped out for a bit.

X_0X_0X_0

Zetsu was most unhappy. He awoke to find out that Kisame and Itachi had already set out to try and capture their target. Not only was this attempt far too ahead of schedule but there were already complications with the plan according to Pain due to the fact that most of the nations were suddenly far too active. Most of them didn't worry too much if a simple jinchuriki was let loose but the one containing the greatest had set off all of them. It really wouldn't do let such a potential weapon be loose for long so all of them were moving to find the boy. Those two would be lucky to survive.

He began heading toward Konohagakure as the boy and thus his two hunters should have still been sighted near according to their spies. Really he sometimes felt like a glorified gopher in this outfit and with his traveling technique he had to suppose he was in a way. The recall order needed to reach them quickly.

X_0X_0X_0

Tsunade had finished working on Kisame's body. It had been a long day to be honest between all the drama, excitement, tension, and research. The group had settled into one of Orochimaru's older labs that remained throughout the Land of Fire. It had taken quite a while to find the place but thankfully Anko had come to the rescue with her memory of a few such locations. She hadn't found much useful in this particular corpse other than possibly a method of creating stronger chakra reserves. She would have to consider tying this in with the draining technique she had pieced together from that Sound jonin, Jirobo. Just as she was about to finish Naruto and Itachi entered the room.

"Baachan, could you fix that body up so it looks healthy? No sliced up bits or the wound in the head? I have a plan and I need his body for it."

"What for brat?"

"Naruto-kun is planning a bit of a convenient cover for me while at the same time preparing to teach Konoha a lesson about security. He has informed me of some rather distressing security failures around the village that I feel should be rectified and offered to aid in teaching the lesson. I assure you this is all on the up and up, well as much as anything is amongst us ninja." Itachi's monotone voice responded.

"Alright, give me about five minutes and he will be good as new."

"Thanks baachan you are the best."

About five minutes later had Naruto carrying a scroll to seal Kisame in as well as him unsealing the Samehada. "Now to test and see if it will work." Naruto created a kage bunshin and had it henge into Kisame. Once it had done that he had it pick up the sword to find no ill effects occurred. "Good." Creating two more with one taking the form of Itachi and another took the form of a raven after receiving the scroll with the sealed Kisame. Attaching a note to a clasp on the raven he sent it ahead and then shortly after the two henged bunshin as well. He took the rings Itachi had given him, both his and Kisame's, and gave them to the proper henged copies before sending them off. He really hoped Jiraiya got his message in time or he would lose something in this exchange.

Leaving it all up to chance at this point he went back inside to sit down to dinner and a discussion about what the group was planning and would do next.

X_0X_0X_0

Arriving at the dinner table with the rest he sat in his seat as they got down to business. "Okay then, its nice to have everyone together for supper. I heard from Anko I'm to also be one of your apprentices obaachan. Does that mean you will teach me all sorts of cool jutsu for healing people or how to learn the secrets from the dead?"

"Don't phrase it like that brat. I have issues with doing that part of the job but in our position I can hardly afford to be squeamish as any information we can get is to our advantage. I intend to teach while we travel and look for a place to settle down. First for Naruto will be some massive refinement on control as you need it." Naruto didn't argue because he personally agreed. He had been working on it for awhile now but there was only so much one book could help you with. "Hinata will be working on increasing her reserves which admittedly are fairly large for a kunoichi at her age but near enough to be able to do what she might have to in an emergency. To this end both of you will be getting help from our newest members. Naruto will get the control training from Itachi and Hinata will be studying with Anko."

Anko chuckles at this. "So that means I get the heiress right? This will be fun." Her smirk spoke only of bad things. Hinata wasn't sure if she should be worried at the fact that she actually liked the idea of hanging out with Anko or not. She had worked with her before a few times when Kurenai was sick or away on a mission and had asked the woman to cover for her. She secretly loved the sadistic side of the woman and wished she had enough confidence herself to let her own shine through. If she did maybe people wouldn't keep thinking she was weak.

"A…ano, are you sure? Weren't you going to train both me and Naruto y….yourself?"

"I will be overseeing everything this group does. Don't worry as I will teach you both once I feel you are all ready. Until that time comes work with your currently assigned partners to improve yourselves. Both of them will keep me informed of your progress. For each milestone you achieve I'll consider letting the one who has done so learn a jutsu from this." Here Tsunade held up the Forbidden Scroll which Naruto recognized.

"What are we doing sitting around waiting for then? Let's get cracking on that control." Naruto shouts out.

"Naruto-kun, it will not harm you to have some patience and at least finish the food before you first." Itachi felt he had to temper the boy a bit here. While the bit of being an idiot might be an act he knew that Naruto was truly obsessed with jutsus. He kind of felt that was partially his fault but he figured it was too late to do anything about it now.

"No training until tomorrow morning. On that note I need a count of what we all have brought with us." Tsunade figured she would stay on top of this situation if she could.

"Otousan g…gave me several scrolls on the more ad…advanced parts of juken. I also too…took with me my usual field kit, a few of the s…salves I've made, my medicine preparation kit, and s…several books I had managed t…to gather concerning some of the past history of the Hyuga clan. F…felt I might nee…need it in the future."

"I like this girl. She not only packed up and dumped the losers but took some possible black mail material with her. I'm going to have so much fun working on you." Anko enthused. She also suspected if she helped the girl with her already impressive flexibility it would improve her overall performance in her family style. "I just brought along a field kit, the usual assortment of my favorite things…"

Here Naruto piped in. "She means poisons and sharp pointy things."

"Hush brat. I also brought along a travel set of stuff for my hobby. Beyond that I took nothing but what was in my head including the knowledge of several places like this."

Itachi spoke up at this point. "I have nothing with me besides my clothes, my weapons, and my services."

Everyone understood he couldn't pack up for this event should it have worked out he could join. Naruto now felt it was time to blow everyone out of the water.

"Alright I have you all beat hands down. I have a couple of scrolls from the jiji's personal library thanks to Asuma-sensei. I found them in a containment seal on the back of the photograph. Inside that were several scrolls mostly highlighting information on the various forms of ninja discipline as well as a few jutsu scrolls. Namely earth and fire but there were two that mentioned some non aligned ninja arts concerning binding arts and simple counter jutsu techniques. I also have the entire Uchiha family library." Before he could go on everyone but Itachi gasped and had to reset their jaws.

"How did you swing that brat?" Anko just had to know how that one was pulled off.

"Lax security mostly. I simply snuck in and took them. No one was even trying to protect the things. There were a few traps but nothing too hard to disable. There were about forty scrolls covering a selection of techniques though most of them were either fire or genjutsu." Itachi nodded at that. "A few books and scrolls from classmates of Hinata's and mine. Most of them detailing what you would expect though. Art of War from Shikamaru, a book about plant identification and use from Ino, a book of the same about bugs from Shino, an emergency first aid kit from Kiba since he always figures I'm going to get split open in any decent fight, a scroll on the basic kata of goken from Lee, another scroll containing information on more esoteric weapons, identifying, and possibly countering the styles they may be used with from Tenten, and finally a guide to the best places to eat in the Elemental Nations from Choji. I also have a few hundred of the basic kunai and shuriken from traps I had deactivated while getting ready to leave as well as some swords, wire, a net, and a few other things from an armory raid, again the Uchiha one, and what I've found out and about on missions. Oh and the Kazekage's hat that I suppose I should return to Sunagakure eventually."

Tsunade was a bit surprised the boy had managed to get the goods over on the village so well. People would kill for both of the collections he was toting around as if they belonged to him.

"I've brought with us several field surgical kits, normal surgical kits, a portable poison lab, a portable biopsy lab, my usual senbon and launchers, and half of the money from the village treasury. Tsunade-sama ordered me to get it but I'm keeping hold of it so it won't go to waste."

"I promised I wouldn't gamble with it."

"I still say I should hold onto it."

"Stingy little apprentice. You should listen to your master." Everyone had a chuckle at heir exchange. "I've brought a similar set up to Shizune as well as almost the Hokage's entire library of scrolls. I've got everything from the Hiraishin to the Forbidden Scroll of Seals with me. Everyone is free to study most of the normal jutsu scrolls but the Hiraishin and one other containing Mokuton techniques are off limits. The Forbidden scroll will be used by everyone but only after any big mission to learn one new technique or to reward progress in anyone's development. Most of the scrolls are centered on water, fire, and earth since it's the jutsus of the past Hokages. I've also brought along my granduncle's repaired sword, the Raijin no Ken. I also brought along all of the scrolls that I myself wrote detailing various medical techniques and my super strength technique to keep them from being misused. Included in my list are several mission scrolls I had pilfered so we can get us some income fast and easy. I'll also be packing up some of the equipment I've found in these labs before we leave." Tsunade left unsaid that she had the monkey contract, the spider contract she had found on Kidomaru, and several samples of Kimimaro's dna.

Naruto and Anko both let out a whistle at that long list of things pilfered. "Don't forget the hat too." Naruto felt it worth mentioning they had pulled that off as well.

"I suppose that counts as well. Alright Naruto, why did you want to head to the west anyway? Is there something out here?"

"The answer is probably on one of those scrolls you are holding obaachan. I had snuck in to the office to read through some of the upcoming missions and I had read about a city that was under attack by a gang calling itself the Kurosaki family. I felt we needed to help the village. Plus that name stands out from something I had seen once."

Itachi spoke up to help Naruto in his explanation. "Yes, Kurosaki Raiga is their leader I believe. Kisame had spoken of the guy and apparently the man is a bit mentally ill. He wields the Rai Roga and was a former member of the Seven Swordsmen of Kiri. It would be to our advantage to face him and at least retrieve his weapons."

"My thoughts exactly, Itachi. With that we will have two of the Legendary Swordsmen's blades and three dead. It'll help build up a reputation for us too."

"Good enough a plan for now in my book kid. We will head that way in two days. I want everyone rested and prepared before we leave."

Everyone voiced their agreement and scattered to find themselves a place to sleep.

X_0X_0X_0

About an hour after Hiashi had left finds Jiraiya still waiting atop the mansion. He noticed the raven that was headed his way which was unusual. Usually this was how Itachi sent his reports in but he was mostly expecting to hear from Naruto that everyone had met up safely. Catching the bird he opened the clasp around its leg and read the contained note. "Interesting. This should shake things up a bit." He burned the paper with a small fire jutsu and watched as the bird took to the air. He would have to time this just right if it was to be pulled off correctly.

X_0X_0X_0

Two men appearing as harmless civilians had arrived at the gate of Konhagakure. Upon arriving they found the guards alert which wasn't too surprising given that it was a ninja village. They mentioned they were there to speak with Jiraiya using some code phrases. This wasn't unusual to see occurring so the guard let them through without recording their passage. One doesn't make official records of the comings and goings of spies after all. Under the dual henge both the Naruto kage bunshins smiled and worked their way to the Hokage's mansion where they could sense the toad sannin waiting. It would seem the man was purposely letting loose a bit of his energy so they could find him.

Arriving on the rooftop behind the sannin they dropped their first layer of henge to assume the guises of Itachi and Kisame. "Looks like he is drunk, Itachi. I'll take him out while you do what you came for." Itachi nodded and jumped away heading to the Uchiha sector.

Kisame slung Samehada around and attempted to shave a path through the old pervert's torso. It would seem his target wasn't as drunk as he appeared as the attack passed through the bunshin. Surprised Kisame turned around just in time to block the incoming rasengan from an oncoming Jiraiya. "I'm not that easy old man."

Jiraiya said nothing as he began to try and take down Kisame in a rather brutal fight between his taijutsu, rasengans, suiton jutsus, and the seemingly reckless swinging of the giant sword. He never managed to land a direct blow on Kisame's body but after about two minutes of fighting he managed to kick the sword out of the fish man's hands. Rushing in for the kill he was pushed back by a water dragon rising up from the water kept nearby in case of fire and splashing into him. Kisame ran to collect his sword but before he could reach it Jiraiya managed to leap toward his back and plant a rasengan at the back of his neck destroying everything from the neck up. Jiraiya panted for a moment recovering his breath as this had been the longest fight he had had in a few months and he wasn't a young man anymore.

That was all an outside observer would see of course. Hidden in the shadows another kage bunshin of Naruto's, the one who had henged as a raven, unsealed the real Kisame's body while the one that was fighting with Jiraiya pulled a kawarimi with it just before the attack connected. The two bunshin, their portion of the mission completed, dispelled themselves discreetly.

Jiraiya raised the alarm after collecting the ring that the Kisame henged bunshin had left behind. He sealed it and the Samehada while telling the responding jonin and Anbu to begin searching as Itachi was in the area. The ninja began to fan out to search but it didn't take long to find Itachi at all it turned out.

Standing on top of the clan head's home within the Uchiha complex, Itachi called out to the jonin who had surrounded the district. "I am here to simply remove all trace of my clan from the map. I can not allow my corrupted brother to take our secrets to the Snake so I will destroy all of it." Several ninja started to jump in to attack him but they stopped when he looked directly at them with those blood red eyes. There were no genjutsus in use merely the killing intent released kept them in place. "Stay were you are if you value your lives. I will not be here long." With that said buildings all around the Uchiha district began to explode. It would seem that Itachi was doing as he said and eliminating everything of the Uchiha that remained in the city from their office buildings to their armory, from the Temple to the very house he was standing on. "Now then, to finish complete what I started years ago." With that Itachi leapt high into the air and begain hopping from one falling and burning piece of rubble to another in the direction of the hospital. It was obvious he was going to kill Sasuke as well to most of the ninja in the village.

Just before he made it to the wall he was stopped by an Anbu in a neko mask. She charged at him and they both fell through a roof of a burning building. The on looking ninja waited with baited breath as they heard the sounds of a fight going on inside. A few minutes later neko exited holding a ring in her hands but refused to say anything about what happened to requests from the others saying she would only talk to the Hokage about what happened inside. Before the situation escalated Jiraiya arrived on scene and told everyone to disperse as he was handling thins while Tsunade was out taking care of that possibly plague outbreak. He led Neko over to the Hokage's mansion to begin what would no doubt be a long debriefing.

X_0X_0X_0

Zetsu found what he discovered in the wee hours of the next morning disturbing. There were no signs of what had happened to Itachi but he suspected him of going rogue in response over his brother as well as the fact that it was about time he simply snapped in the both halves of Zetsu's opinion. The guy was under a lot of pressure to handle the strongest of their targets or at least pretending to while hunting down their actual leader to kill him. He supposed finding out the village had let the boy be tainted had been the last straw. He did find Kisame's corpse in the morgue though but sadly it would seem both his ring and sword had already been collected and his body autopsied. From what he could see it looked like the man had died from having his head more or less obliterated. He quickly sat about devouring the body to keep it form giving up any more secrets to more through study and left to report his findings.

X_0X_0X_0

Seven shadowy figures stoop atop the fingers of a statue in order to calculate what should be done next. The shadow that most of the others only know as Leader spoke. "It has come to my attention that we may have lost Itachi and Kisame. As such we need to recruit new members with the loss of yet two more. The new priorities at the moment then are not only to raise money but to also find worthy members and reclaim our lost rings. Deidara and Sasori, I want you two to see about reclaiming Orochimaru's ring."

The two named members nod their heads in understanding before fading away, presumably to begin their hunt. It'll take them a few days to get to the Land of Rice.

"Hidan and Kakazu, continue your efforts to raise money for our organization. Leave no bounty uncollected." Again the named two disappear after giving indication of having received their orders.

"Konan and I will set out to Konoha ourselves to recruit new members to our cause. Zetsu, I expect you to monitor Konoha for now. After that blow to their image they will be rushing about trying to cover it up. I want to know if they make a move to try and reclaim their exiled jinchuriki as well as how the other nations respond. Itachi may no longer be with us but we should at least take advantage of this whole situation. I am sure we might be able to enlist a few people for grunts if nothing else."

With that all the remaining shadows disappeared. A snake slithered out of a crevice in the chamber looking about before it began to work its way out. Oh its master would want to know about how close his enemies were coming to his territory. Perhaps the master would be able to take out some of the threats to himself and net the boy it wanted at the same time.

X_0X_0X_0

Day broke over a very frightened and nervous Konohagakure. Villagers were convinced that Itachi was still in town slinking amongst the shadows waiting to strike down any who crossed his path. In truth though none of the usual citizens needed to fear such a thing. This wasn't the truth with the members of the elder council but most wouldn't know it with them meeting here inside Root HQ. Koharu and Homura looked like they haven't slept in a week from the amount of stress their bodies had been put through. Danzo looked about as well as he ever had to be honest since he had slept just fine. His agents had observed the exchange from the start and thus he knew the whole thing was a hoax to shake up the council. The other two old farts though were thinking Itachi was here to kill all three of them for breaking their promise to him. Part of the condition of Itachi taking on the job to kill the rest of his clan was that Naruto would be protected by the village and kept as safe as it was possible to keep him. 'Probably part of the reason he left Sasuke alive come to think of it. A potential friend for the orphaned blonde who would ideally be strong enough to help protect him and drive him to be stronger. Well played maneuver there, Itachi. Well played indeed.' Those thoughts had traversed the one eyed man's mind while he did his best not to laugh at the others. The other two elders had spat upon that arrangement knowing full well it would have consequences. It would seem they weren't expecting a reprisal though having thought the man would lose interest in it once he became one of the members of Akatsuki.

"Why are you two sitting over there huddled like two scared little bunnies? You both knew he would not like what has happened here as well as I did. Part of the arrangement was to keep the boy safe."

"I always thought he was joking about it." Homura stated but no one bought it. All three knew that Itachi had been dead serious about protecting Naruto as Itachi had thought he was the hope for the future.

"I don't really give a damn." Koharu stated in fury. "I will not be bullied on this matter. The demon needs to die and it will be done. This whole affair is his fault and if he would just of died back in Wave it would have worked too. I still can't believe they pulled that one off even after we made sure it was the one that would wind up on their plate."

"The boy is a jinchuriki if you recall, Koharu. A simple A-rank mission isn't going to get him killed. On the bright side your secondary goal was achieved and the Uchiha did get his sharingan." Danzo again did his best not to appear smug.

"Small consolation that is. We need to redouble our efforts to ensure that boy's loyalty to the village. Speaking of such, has he awoken yet?"

"Homura, you should really keep on things better. Yes the boy awoke last night during all the commotion. He had to be sedated again to keep him from running out there the moment he heard that Itachi had arrived. By one this afternoon he should be awake and released from the hospital and ready for duty. I've already prepared a statement concerning the incident for the public as well as one for the boy. With any luck we can use the loss of his clan properties and library to get him to stay with us in exchange for having all of the village held libraries open to him. We will even give him the forbidden scroll." Koharu stated with some degree of hope.

Danzo sneered as if he had tasted something rotten at that point but decided to address other issues. "A new replacement has been added to Team Seven to make up for the exile. Its one of my agents in order to keep an eye on the Uchiha. With any luck he will be able to befriend him and keep him loyal as well." 'And net me some genetic material so I can get to work on making an army of sharingan wielders.'

"Excellent idea Danzo. Will you release some of your agents to us so that we might address an issue?"

"If you mean give you a dozen of my men so as to assassinate Uzumaki and Mitarashi you are barking up the wrong tree. She was trained by Orochimaru for crying out loud. I don't think you two realize exactly how dangerous she is with all the forbidden jutsus and such she knows never mind her snakes. My boys wouldn't stand a chance against her if she is staying with Uzumaki for any reason. Nevermind how hard it would be for an ordinary assassin to kill him. You are all aware of his regeneration I would think."

This time it was the other two elders who made faces that looked like they had sucked on a sour lemon. "We need the boy dead now. The sooner the better as it might eliminate the threat from Itachi if the boy is dead and your agents are pretty good at staging things to make it look like other villages." Koharu pointed out.

"Sorry but I won't help you here. I wanted to keep Uzumaki so I'm not about to help you kill him. This one will be all up to you two if you want it done." With that Danzo left the room to attend to other matters.

Homura turned to Koharu. "Looks like we are going to have to go about this the old fashioned way then. I'll post the bounty and with any luck the demon will be dead by the end of the week." Both of the elders got up to leave as well to make the arrangements.


	6. Morning surprises, sickness, and Sasuke

AN: Don't own Naruto which is probably a good thing. If I did I suppose we would have seen what was happening to Kabuto by now. You know it's a bit harder to cook up pranks than you think when you start to write one of these.

X_0X_0X_0

In the wee hours of the morning, Naruto was preparing for his daily work out. As he ran about to get warmed up he was joined by Itachi. The Uchiha joined him in his running for a time before deciding to start talking.

"So Naruto-kun, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?"

"I needed to talk to you about one handed signs if I could. Several of the nins I've encountered so far have been able to use them. Do you think you could show them to me while I'm working on chakra control after I get the physical portion of training over with?"

"I suppose that means you have fought more Kiri nin than just Kisame. Yes I can teach them to you as I've seen them used enough to know them. Actually it would probably be best if I taught it to both you and Hinata I think. How about I teach them before lunch to both of you? Besides I want to test you and see how badly you've been screwed over by the education system."

Naruto hung his head but knew he wouldn't get out of this. "Not as bad as it might seem. My social skills are admittedly shot to hell though but I did what I could with so much subtle hostility all around me."

"I also have to ask why the orange? Anko and I taught you better than that back when we were both around to watch over you. Surely you didn't forget our lessons in stealth."

"That was for two reasons. One was to gain attention as people were ignoring me."

"And the other?"

"Preparation for in case I ever had to flee from the village due to a mob or sudden change in leadership wanting me dead. They would be out looking for an idiot in orange while I could simply slip into something else and walk right by them. I won't deny it was also good for stealth training as it is hard to go unseen in it while sneaking into secure locations."

"Anko's influence no doubt. Turn everything and anything to your advantage as she would say."

"He is also keeping to your philosophies too, weasel boy. You should see his theory scroll. I would swear he was planning to make a Guide to Basic Ninjutsu book." Anko jumped up to join the two. Seems she wanted in on this discussion amongst old friends.

"I suppose so since he wanted to pursue one handed seals. You observe anything else interesting that you need help working on?" Itachi was genuinely curious as to what Naruto had pieced together from observing over the years. He really had an issue with the fact that most modern ninja forgot their most powerful tool was their mind. So what if you didn't have a sharingan, it didn't mean you couldn't memorize the hand signs and other variables and experiment when not on a battle field until you could use the jutsu too.

"No so much help working on them if truth be told. I have pieced together a few water jutsus though from when we were in Wave. I think I've pieced together the kirigakure no jutsu, mizu bunshin no jutsu, and finally suiton: suiryudan no jutsu. I am also working out how to use suiton: daibakufu no jutsu but that is slow going. I believe I've got the hand signs but have just not had the time or resources to try it."

As they continued to talk the group found a nearby lake and began to run across it to get in some chakra control training on top of the physical workout. "Not a bad base to work from."

Anko piped in. "He also has an even more impressive list of genjutsus he has encountered and figured out the signs for but with his shoddy control he can't use them. I think you might want to help him tweak that as you are pretty good with those if I recall. After all if he hosts a fox he might as well take advantage of the psychological effects of that coupled with illusions and its impact upon his enemies. I'm off to wake the lady fair." Anko ran back into the temporary head quarters for this group.

"Actually I do want to get a few of those working. I have some pranks but I'm going to need some very effective genjutsus for them."

"Then that is what we will discuss once I'm done quizzing you."

Naruto groaned as he was hopping to dodge the twenty questions.

X_0X_0X_0

Hinata rolled over in her bed exposing to the world the large and fairly lecherous seeming smile she was wearing. "Naruto… a little more to the left. Ahhh there, right there! Keep going!" Anko was actually impressed at the girl's imagination if what she was hearing meant what she thought it did. Still it was taking the girl a bit too long to notice the snake up her pajamas in her opinion.

"Up and at 'em, Hyuga. I don't have time for you to gratify yourself with my pets."

Hinata woke up with a start and only a second to parse out what was said. "Waaaaa." She jumped, dropped her pants, and assumed a juken stance all in the amount of time it would take most people to blink. Anko wasn't sure if she should laugh her ass off or congratulate the girl. She settled on doing the first though as she had an image to keep.

"Mou… it wasn't Naruto. Damn it, I was almost…. Eeep!" Hinata turned red as a beet since she remembered she had company. At this Anko fell to the floor laughing so hard she was certain she would have injured herself if not for some of the alterations her body had undergone when apprenticed to Orochimaru.

"Not fu…funny." Hinata fumed while she proceeded to get her clothes together. "A little pr…privacy please."

"Not a chance. I don't want you molesting my friend there again." Anko points to indicate her snake.

"I w…would never do s…something like that."

"Don't knock it till you've tried it."

"Wha…?"

Anko breaks out into laughter again at another Hinata blush. "Alright, I'll step out. Just hurry as we have a lot of work to do. You and I are going to be going for a ten mile run flat out, no tree jumping."

As Anko stepped out Hinata slumped to the floor for a moment. "Oh why don't I ever just hit them when they make fun of me? I mean surely it would stop when they can no longer breathe."

X_0X_0X_0

Konohamaru, Moegi, and Udon were bored. Without Naruto to follow around and lead them there was simply nothing to do outside of the academy. Konohamaru had told the other two a bit more info about the real reason Naruto had been banished and the other two agreed that it was not a fair ruling. As a result they were determined to protest in some way.

Their chance came during lunch that particular day. Udon had spotted Koharu passing down the street nearby where the group ate. Getting the other two's attention they quickly devised a plan. Paying for their meals they stepped outside and began to follow the elder.

Having followed the woman to one of the bath houses they hastily cooked up a plan that, while making all three shudder in revulsion, would really get under the elder's skin. Using the oiroke henge, Konohamaru slipped into the women's side of the bath. Finding the clothes Koharu had been wearing in a basket he snatched up the clothes and slipped them to the other two on the other side of the wall. Udon took the clothes and left to do his part of the prank. Moegi, after a quick check for sizes, left to get something in exchange.

Konohamaru was no left with the unenviable position of making sure the old woman stayed there for awhile. He, or rather she, slipped her feet into the water and sat on the edge keeping Koharu in her periphery. A few minutes later he heard a bird call that signaled that Moegi had already returned. Thankful that at midday like this the baths were usually mostly empty, Konohamaru padded over to the fence to collect what had been brought in. He slipped back into the dressing room and put in Koharu's clothes basket the new outfit they had put together.

In place of her usual conservative clothes was something more appropriate for some teenaged street punk. Black leather jacket, grey t-shirt with torn off sleeves and a skull on the front, and leather pants. Moegi had even found a thong of all things to add into the gag. All the sizes matched as they wanted her to be able to wear the clothes. Quickly adding the final touch, a bit of itching powder to the underwear and pants, Konohamaru ducked out and returned to his normal form. Meeting up with Moegi they dashed into the town square in time to see the second part of the plan going into effect.

High atop the Hokage's mansion, on one of the little spine like extensions that rise above everything else, were the old woman's clothes strung out for display to the public. Udon had little trouble pulling this off after having made the calculations for how to throw the rigging of cloth, kunai, and wire and had even worked out a way to avoid been seen while doing so.

Their good deed for the day done, the group went back to school making it just in time for class. Their grins however would not go away and Iruka caught it. He really hopped his desk wasn't going to explode or something because that is what he had come to associate with those wide grins on a student's face.

X_0X_0X_0

Sasori sighed to himself. Here we was once again stuck traveling alongside the ever mouthy Deidara. 'Really, why is he in this organization again? I mean yeah he blows stuff up but that is it. If he doesn't shut up I'm going to ask him about his hygiene. It is really driving me insane how he takes care of that.' "I believe we have arrived."

Sasori was of course referring to the fact that the two were now standing outside of a cavern located in Rice Country. According to his spy this was where Otogakure was currently located. "Alright, Deidara be careful in here. We do not need it caving in on us."

"Hai Sasori no Danna. I know. Once we are clear though I'm going to debut my latest masterpiece, un."

If Sasori still had a body of flesh he would roll his eyes. 'One of these days I will discuss with Leader why I was stuck working with this retarded twit.' Confident that Hiruko could handle any simple ninja and that if needed Deidara could at least half way be useful in taking on Orochimaru if by doing nothing else but caving the place in on the snake, he led the way in.

Deidara started to have a funny feeling the longer they walked down the worn slope of the cave. It was similar to how one feels while drowsy and it progressively got worse. 'Just sleeping gas I think. No wait that can…' Deidara started to collapse as Sasori spun around to grab his partner. It would seem he had been double crossed after all. He decided to lug his partner out since Akatsuki could ill afford to lose another member and ring. When he neared the cavern entrance he noticed a hissing sound. He turned to see what it was only to be plowed over by a giant snake thus leading to him dropping Deidara.

As he began to fight off the giant summons he spotted silver hair and the glint of glasses land next to his partner. The figure bent over and snatched up the unconscious Akatsuki member before snatching him up and taking to the shadows. "Damn it." Finishing up with the snake with a swing of Hiruko's tail he had no choice but to give chase to the already fading figure. 'Sometimes it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.'

X_0X_0X_0

Sasuke awoke to find an empty hospital room. He looked around quickly to try and ascertain where he was. Judging from the looks of the place and the somewhat familiar feel of the sheets and bed it had to be the hospital back in Konoha. 'This wasn't supposed to happen. Did I at least manage to get the mangekyo?' Sasuke began to look around for anything with a reflective surface. Failing to find any he attempted to leave the bed and go to the bathroom where there would be a mirror.

As soon as he had tried to place pressure on his feet to stand he fell to the ground in a lump knocking one of the monitoring machines near him over resulting in a bit of noise. An Anbu opened the door immediately upon hearing the sounds inside to check and see what was going on. Finding the Uchiha awake the Anbu immediately called it in so that the proper people could be alerted. "Uchiha-san, please calm down. You are back in Konoha. A medic should be up soon to check you out and assuming they give their approval I am to take you to meet with the elders. A lot of things have happened since you were last awake."

"Mirror, I need a mirror."

"Don't bother. If you are thinking of checking to see if you have the mangekyo I can tell you that you will not find it." Kakashi stepped into the room from the window. "I'll take it from here Anbu-san." The Anbu member nodded their head and walked back out into the hall.

"You were caught before you could escape, Sasuke and it was all thanks to Naruto. If he hadn't found you in time you would have woke up to find yourself the host to that old Snake."

"I see. I'll have to 'thank' him later. So how am I to be punished for my little defection? I doubt the council would let me be executed without collecting samples first. They going to take my eyes and give them to the idiot?"

"As much as it pains me to say you will not receive so much as a public whipping for your betrayal. Team Seven did lose a member though Naruto survived you putting a hole in him. The council exiled him for harming you and exposing you to a 'corruptive influence.'"

"So there was something with that red chakra. Why is it that he can use that? If I had it I wouldn't have been tempted by this seal." Sasuke jerked a thumb at his shoulder.

"Well I guess you'll never be able to call upon it now can you? With Naruto gone he won't be able to be there to help you hunt your brother down."

"I will take Itachi on my own with my own power. I do not need anyone helping me."

"You don't realize your power alone will not be enough because it is all ego. Your brother is ahead of you not because of his eyes or name but because of his effort. I know you saw how he worked, observed, altered, reworked, tested, prepared, and studied in order to be as good as he was. You will need to do the same to have a hope of beating him."

"Hmph, I will manage it and I'll do it without either of those two idiots weighing me down."

"So you don't believe in the power of the group? Do you need an example of where it is stronger than one alone? Last night Itachi attacked the village and destroyed the Uchiha sector. If not for Anbu chasing him down he would have come to kill you. His partner was already taken out by Jiraiya before he could cause too much trouble for everyone. Without all those well trained ninja working together you would have been just another dead Uchiha."

"The Uchiha district was destroyed?" At Kakashi's nod Sasuke just gave a snort. "Meh, no big deal. Nothing of value was still there anyway. Get the medics to let me go so I can get back to training."

"I can see talk won't get though to you. Listen Sasuke and listen well, if you try to run again I will not hesitate to put a chidori of my own through your chest. You will work with your new team mate and Sakura. I will not be pussy footing around this time. If you are old enough to try and use an assassination technique like you did then I will treat you like my old subordinates were treated. Meet at the bridge as usual at ten and be on time." Kakashi stepped back out the window and disappeared.

Sasuke could still feel his eye on him as he waited for the medic. "Hm… something is going on around here." 'Once no one is looking I'll make a break for it. It might take a week or two though before they back off enough to slip out at night.'

X_0X_0X_0

Jiraiya was again spying on the hot springs while working on his book. Despite the appearance of his usual perverse enjoyment his heart wasn't really in what he was doing. The council would realize what Tsunade had done by midday at the latest. Once that happened he would actually have to be serious for a bit. Not something he wanted to do if he could avoid it. Still he would begin things off by locking down the Uchiha boy. He wouldn't be so much as able to sneeze without a ninja nearby to hear about it. If the boy bolted he would remove the cursed seal but he would do it the faulty way. 'Surely the boy could live with only one arm, right? Still I can't just kill him.' He chuckled at the image that put in his head while he continued to write.

X_0X_0X_0

Koharu had never been so embarrassed in her life. First her clothes were stolen followed by having no choice but to wear something only street trash would wear and then she had gotten an itching sensation that wouldn't go away in a place a proper lady did not scratch. The fact her attempt to hide in a henge as a young person had failed miserably also helped exacerbate the problem. As she had been slipping through the square trying and failing to suppress the urge to scratch she had spotted her clothing blowing in the wind and that had led to her losing concentration enough to slip out of her henge. Some people were so spooked they insisted she was an outsider ninja and before she could say anything she had been hauled in by the Anbu. On top of that she was in this cell waiting a discussion with Ibiki and could take it no more. Just as she began to scratch the mind destroying itch the interrogator himself walked in.

"Uhm.. no offence elder but I'm not really into that kind of thing. We don't do this so people can get their kicks."

As she turned red in embarrassment she swore this had to be the demon's fault somehow.

X_0X_0X_0

Kiba was not surprised at the news that Hinata was no longer with the team. With Naruto being exiled he figured she would be pulled from the team but he never figured the Hokage would pull her to be her apprentice. Still, that didn't excuse this situation one whit. "What do you mean we will not have a replacement team mate ready?"

Shino felt it prudent to speak up at this point. "While I understand that Hinata is unavailable at the moment I too am curious as to why a new team mate was not provided to us. We need a third member in order to function as a cohesive cell."

Kurenai was at a loss as to how to answer their questions as she personally found it odd that there was no mention of a replacement being arranged. Still she needed to get this under control fast. "Currently Kiba is still recovering from the mission to track down and retrieve the Uchiha. I believe Hokage-sama took this fact into consideration and that is why she has not assigned us a new member. Once she returns from her emergency rescue mission I am sure she will assign us a new member."

The two boys did not seem convinced but knew they would never be able to argue a reason out of someone who didn't know the answer. Kiba smelled something fishy about all of it. The timing was too coincidental and he would worry it like a bone before he gave up finding out what had happened. Shino had decided he would recall his bug from where he had left it with Naruto to confirm his own suspicions about all this and then would probably inform Kiba. He really didn't need the boy digging his own grave while looking too far into what had happened.

X_0X_0X_0

Sasori pulled his body back together from where it had been dashed to pieces by an onslaught of snakes. He had lost track of Deidara once he had been hit by two of the giant snakes. It would seem they had just lost another member and Leader would not be happy. He began to trudge his way back to the nearest hide out they had as this wasn't something that could wait.

X_0X_0X_0

Nagato and Konan stood overlooking Konoha from atop a nearby mountain. The village looked peaceful enough from up here but they both knew it was a rotten oak about ready to cut down to make way for new sprouts. They had initially come here with the intent on enlisting new recruits but found it impossible to infiltrate due to the large dome that would inform someone inside of their arrival. Zetsu's ability seemed to allow him to bypass it but for any of the other Akatsuki members it would be nearly impossible to slip past undetected. He did not yet have his Pain Rikudo perfected so that was out and the victory would be sweeter anyway if he let it decay and rot in on itself a bit more. Currently he was just looking to see if there was any sign of Itachi hiding out nearby.

"Nagato, perhaps we could recruit his brother? It would replace Itachi's role in the group. We could even lure him in by removing the cursed seal that Orochimaru gave him."

"Very well, send word to the boy that we would like to meet him. Zetsu can sneak in and retrieve him to bring him here so that we might meet. I want to see what the little brother of the great Itachi is like."

Konan nodded her head and set about the assigned task. Tonight they should hopefully acquire a new member. Besides, Madara would want the boy as well she was sure. They might as well kill two birds with one stone here since they had bothered to make the trip.

X_0X_0X_0

It had been an interesting day working with Naruto again. Itachi really had missed playing the role of a teacher for someone. Kisame usually listened and followed along with what he said but the man was ultimately Madara's spy to watch Itachi. It was different to have someone who listened to you because they genuinely wanted to learn from your experiences in order to grow themselves. Why the village had never even tried to teach the boy he had never understood.

Just as he was about to enter his own room the coughing fit hit him. As he slumped to the floor coughing up blood he was spotted by Anko. Shouting to get Tsunade she walked over to help the Uchiha stand. "Kid, you should have said something. There is no reason for you to be this sick when we have the best medic in the world working with us. You will let her look you over and you will let her patch you up. Am I understood? The brat would kill me if he learned I didn't get you healed up once I found out you were sick."

Tsunade came rushing down the hallway followed by Shizune. The two took in Itachi leaning heavily on Anko, the blood in his hand, and his continued coughing fit. Tsunade recognized what she was seeing almost instantly. "Follow me." She led them down to one of the experimental labs that would do as an intensive care unit for now. "How long have you been sick, Itachi?"

"Not too long, Hokage-sama. I only recently contracted this after an exchange with some of Hanzo's supporters when I was dispatched to eliminate them for Akatsuki. I believe I got it from being there in Ame if I were to be honest. I never did take too well to continuously wet climates."

"Heh, you might be a super ninja kid but you are still human. Allergies, disease, and other such unexpected natural elements of the world have felled many of our number over the years." Anko piped in while the two medics went to work.

"Lucky for you I know how to cure this and it is still in the early stages as well. You will wind up with slightly diminished lung capacity but you will be fit and ready for action in a week."

"I'll let the others know that the mission is cancelled then." Shizune began to leave to inform to other two apprentices that the mission to River was to be cancelled.

"No, I'll take them. No need to let the mission be cancelled just because weasel here can't remember to keep himself dry. I'll play jonin and they can be my two men cell. It shouldn't take us long and would have been a waste of wonder boy here's talents anyway. Besides, we are trying to advertize the two brat's abilities as much as those of the whole group. Itachi being their to save their asses would kind of defeat the point anyway."

"Is that alright with you, Itachi? Do you mind leaving them in her care?" Shizune didn't particularly like the idea of leaving the two alone with Anko. She felt like something might happen that the two were not old enough for yet. Still if everyone else was okay with it she wouldn't stop it.

"I trust her with Naruto. She has been watching him since I had to run that night so I know she won't harm Naruto. I also think she is a positive influence on Hinata. A bit more time of those two together will really get her to open up and then maybe…" He began coughing again.

"Then maybe she will get it through his thick skull she likes him. Yeah, this plan works for me as well if for no other reason than that. Besides Itachi won't be in any shape for that mission at the moment and it needs to be done soon before they go to Ame or someone else to take care of it."

"I'll round up the brats and let them know. We'll set out tomorrow morning."

X_0X_0X_0

Jiraiya arrived just in time to hear a great deal of shouting form inside the council room. Pausing outside to enjoy the chaos he listened in for a bit to get an idea of what they were plotting.

"That upstart abandoned her post and all because of that demon. I want her hunted down and killed." Koharu screamed at the other two in the room with her.

"Sadly we can't do that. You saw the paper work. She is in the clear and we can do nothing to her. We can only sit back and hope someone else takes care of it for us now." Homura tried to pacify his old team mate.

"You mean the bounty hunters who will be looking to collect the reward you two offered? I wouldn't count on it. I have reason to believe that the boy will get some protection from one of the other hidden villages before the word will even get spread around enough for the hunters to start looking. My men reported Hanzo was moving toward the direction we believed the boy to have left." Danzo had given up trying to keep his smile off his face at this point. Hell he would help the boy now just because it was giving him the most entertainment he had seen in years.

"No doubt some anonymous person informed him I bet."

"Hello honored elders." Jiraiya felt now was the time to step in and calm the situation down a bit. "For what reason was I summoned?"

"Jiraiya, we have called you here because that team mate of yours abandoned the village." Homura was trying to keep this civil.

"That is hardly an immediate concern. Orochimaru has been gone for quite a number of years now."

"No, the blonde headed tramp. She up and left taking the entire Hokage's library and the Hyuga heiress with her. The only thing she left behind was a scroll containing some expletives. She made sure to absolve herself of wrong doing as she left too." Koharu was puffing at this point and Homura was working on calming her down. Her heart wasn't up to sustaining this level of stress and she would have a heart attack if she wasn't careful.

"It would seem, Jiraiya, that you were named as her successor. Will you accept the appointment or do we need to select a new one?" Danzo felt it best to control the direction of the conversation now so that the other two would not be able to try and gloss over any minor details such as the one he had mentioned.

"Sure, I'll play the part this time. When do we have the official swearing in and all that?"

"Tomorrow I believe. Do you two have anything else you want to discuss?"

The other two elders held their tongues because they knew Jiraiya liked the boy and wouldn't agree to put a hit on his own godson. At this point they had little choice but to hope that some hunters would find the brat and put an end to this whole mess.

"Before we dismiss this meeting, I must inform you all of an interesting letter from the daimyo that arrived the other day. It says he is sending some men to review some records. Something about fishy monetary transactions amongst the upper echelons of the city and wanting to see what all this business was about banishing the son of Kushina. Something about it not being something he approved of since the kid was technically a foreign dignitary that we were supposed to be protecting." He almost lost it and would have rolled in the floor laughing at the faces of the other two and would have if he were in less in control of his emotions.

"I had figured he would be looking into that soon. I was glad I sent a toad to tell him who it was that was being banished before he signed off on it." Jiraiya smiled as he had no reason to hold back.

"What? This is a lie. Her son died that night and the demon took its appearance to mock us you no good ack!" Koharu started to spasm and collapsed. Jiraiya and Danzo both shared a look and helped get some Anbu to come in and take her to the hospital.

"Too much excitement for her this evening I suppose. Well, I'll see you tomorrow when you put the hat on my head." Jiraiya left with a bit of a jaunty wave to the other elders.

"Danzo, do you know where the hat is?"

"Yes, Tsunade had it."

"Crud, now I've got to go wake the hat maker up to work overtime." Homura trudged out set to deal with yet another obstacle between himand a good night's sleep. 'If it wasn't getting Koharu out of trouble with the Anbu it was getting a hat made. If it wasn't one Hokage leaving it was another being sworn in. Really, when did the world stop being simple?'


End file.
